Hmm either the company I work for has just given me some incredible leverage to practially demand a raise or the whole thing has a big catch and they hope that I am to gullible to see it. They recently laid off 20 % of the employees becasue of funding problems. Unfortunateley they also fired the person who was appointed officer for biological safetey... Now they desperateley need another employee to become that. But there is only a handfull of people who can thake the position as it has special requirements. Most suitable people don't want it because it is a hassle. I am amongst those few suited ones and they just asked me yesterday if I were interested in getting that extra qualification. TBH I don't really want the hassle that comes with it and I am planning to leave the company as soon as I find a better job anyway. But the qualification will look very hot on my resume... I have been fighting for a wage increase. Since I know they are desparate, I could practically bribe them into giving me a BIG fat raise or I will just not do it. What do I have to loose? They can only say no then I'll also say no too. So what? It is a voluntary extra position, they cannot fire me for declining the responsibility. For me, things will stay same and they'll still have no one to be Biological safetey officer. Their probelm. But I am not trusting them anymore so I kinda smell a rat (not the cute cuddly kind that smells like love and popcorn)...what could it be??? Will I have to give up my project lead position? Is it a degradation in disguise? WHAt could be the catch??? Time to do some research....

Seen on the news article:NYC Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani’s first big move—appointing Lillian Bonsignore as FDNY Commissioner. She’s a respected 31-year FDNY veteran who led EMS through COVID and the 9/11 response… 👉 But she has never served as a firefighter. In the announcement clip, the focus is heavily on her being a “trailblazer for the LGBTQ community” and the first openly gay FDNY commissioner—with Bonsignore herself saying experience fighting fires “won’t matter.” Priorities highlighted: identity, pay parity for EMS, and historic firsts. But when lives hang in the balance during a blaze, does the leader of the world’s bravest need actual firefighting command experience—or is symbolism enough? NYC firefighters risk everything daily. They deserve a boss who’s been in the flames, not just checking boxes. Merit over identity—or is this the future? Another form of DEI, I presume?

Happiness and good Fortune are like a golden sand flowing into an hourglass of life sometimes there are black grains representing the bad things that sometimes happen but for most they are tuning to gold once they reach the majority of gold. But for some people the sand has more black grains than most, and some of those tend to give their few golden grains to others to help them turn their black to gold, which often leave the givers with overpowering obsidian sand that often turns new gold to black. And if they ask others for just a speckle of gold in return to help Turing the black to gold, they often have to beg for it or end up turning the others sand black just by opening their their hourglass. I am certainly one of the latter people. My body and mind is filled with poisonous black sand and my tongue turns it into venom injecting it to others whenever reach for support or comfort. I have realized a very concerning pattern that gives me the worst anxiety right now. I'm poisoning the last golden grain of sand whenever I open my heart and don't swallow my feelings for once. I should finally stop trying and go back to being the quiet listener that gives her golden grains to others and fights against the black by herself. That will spare me from a lot of feelings of disappointment, and anxiety and guilt about upsetting others by voicing when I'm being upset or disappointed. I'll just suck it up and be too forgiving for my own good the sake of harmony. How sad is that? I have become scared of being upset because it upsets others and I feel guilty then. Can one be more of a peoplepleaser just to not end up all alone? Today was a terrible day on so many levels, not only was I still feeling upset, I was also anxious to the point of barely being able to breathe because I had I realized this destructive and poisonous pattern that always, really ALWAYS has been following when I open up and threatens the last good thing I have that is supposed to be an anchor right now. And on top of all, some actually supposedly good news came in from a friend but I can't be happy for them instead it really pulls me down because the topic reminds me of my health issues that are kinda related... And as I currently have no one to talk to because my tongue is venomous and I just ruin everone elses minds, I have to rant it out to strangers in the internet. Maybe the more creative writing approach I took in the beginning is at least somewhat enjoyable to read. It was kind inspired by this song... https://youtu.be/FK3TDHnD1_0?list=RDFK3TDHnD1_0

i expect women to fight for meballs like a rugby match itsnot toomu h tooexpect i dont think urwelcome slocum

Gen X here. The most important and crucial difference from my time compared to today: We knew how to relax and have a good time. We certainly didn't let politicians make us fight their battle for them. Divide and conquer has always been the mantra, and if you youngbloods think anyone of those in Washington are making things difficult for those with different viewpoints with your best interest in mind, you're living in a fantasy world. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9l5WZ774Sg

Wow what a shitty End for a vacation. Successfully ruined another persons day again just by trying to open up and share my fears and emotions in hopes to clear my anxiety that I had since yesterday... But noo triggered somewhat of a fight and anxiety for the other side too. Aaaaaand thats why I usually bottle things up. When I talk about it I piss people off or make them sad and that worsens my anxiety. Even when I thought hard about how I say it and what I say, it always goes down the wrong pipe and ends with the worst outcome... Why do I even try again ana again it always ends in disappointment: either I'm a bad trigger or I'm as important as fucking chairs. After all im only good for listening not for talking about feelings. I just muck things up... I feel like such a human failure...

In shadows deep, where darkness dwells, Cruelty smiles, negativity tells. Demons trail, a haunting plight, Trying to halt my inner light. Everywhere, their presence sneers, In screens and faces, fueling fears. Monsters lurk, in corners creep, Laughing softly, beneath my sleep. Yet, I fight, with courage bright, Seeking solace, in endless night. I call to God, with fervent plea, Chase them back to hell, and set me free. A God-fearing soul, I yearn to find, Peace in heart, and peace in mind.

Trump met with Japanese PM Takaichi yesterday. He bragged about the powerful thrust of his jet fighters after she showed him her collection of tentacle porn.

I had a fight with my asian partner; I came up with the best insult. Get to work them Iphones aren't gunna make themselves. The irony being she got mad at me and replied with; 'Do I look Chinese?'

So after blocking the closure of hotels in the UK to be used to house Illegal mirgrants, and the home office admitting it cares more for illegal mirgrants than the British people. Protests are turning from peaceful to aggressive, the police being hostle and are fanning the flames. In other news local coucils who try the same thing as Epping, will be sanctioned by West Minister Government leading to all out war with 'Little Britian' as Labour, Reform, and Conversative Coucils fight the burden of unwanted and unwelcome migrants being forced on them.