Im thinking of quitting inktober (yet again) before i even really started on it. Idk just the thought of planning and actually making an ink drawing every day stresses me out. Although it was something that I easily did in the past. Even multiple ones a day... I think it's because of not having as much time to invest in art anymore I kinda lost my connection to it. I rarely get to sit down to actually paint. Every year I start the inktober challeng in hope to get my connection back but every time for the past 3 years I end up having to quit halfway through for multiple reasons like getting behind lacking time. This year I'm already stressed about having to catch up on the first few days that I missed.
Maybe I just had a bad start...I wanted to warm up by finishing one of least years works that I never got to complete and I totally messed it up and on top it tore apart when I tried to remove the one year old masking tape... Seems like an omen...
I will still dedicate this month to art and especially watercolor painting. But I think I will not do the inktober challenge for now. Maybe I will get to do the last half of it later but just now I need to get back into the peaceful/mindful mindset that I need for doing watercolor. Pushing myself with a challenge will not help here.
I started watching YouTube draw with me videos of one of my favorite artists there. It helps getting back into watercolors and Inks.

I thought I'd finally have time to draw and try doing inktober again. But for some reason I can't wind down and relax. My hands rush through the sketch as if I had to be somewhere and I can't get lost in my artwork and escape. It's so frustrating and aggravating which leads to mistakes and me hating tie pictures in the end. why can't my mind settle down?! I just wanted to draw
I was already disappointed yesterday because my tablet didn't arrive and now today is not fun either

Lost.

I don't always worship the devil, but when I do...so do all the lost souls hopelessly wandering in the darkest depths of Hell!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTsa0KZRnAs

im probably not 100 % human, well she s probably not either,,, we would make a Cute couple . I attac I Protec. I just lost it when she Tweaked out in front o that Backdrop. WE could really work thooose BenDZZZZZZ.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWUJfVq3wFk&list=RDoWUJfVq3wFk&start_radio=1

Dark Tranquility-Lost To Apathy. (2004) Swedish melodic death metal. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uL4tP6Xz3M0&pp=ygUlbG9zdCB0byBhcGF0aHkgZGFyayB0cmFucXVpbGl0eSB2aWRlbw%3D%3D

I dont think the days complete until i lost my mind entirely 1 minimum

Saints lost their season opener but they look like sexy bitches in those new uniforms. Fuck the stats. We on the nfl runway baby.

PINK AND BLUE AWARENESS PROJECT
The Pink and Blue Awareness Project is a 100% volunteer run project that makes and donates bracelets to be worn in October for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

​We wear these bracelets beginning in October to raise awareness and to honor the thousands of babies lost to pregnancy and infant loss every year. One in four men and women suffer pregnancy and infant loss, often in silence. Wearing this bracelet shows your support for these families.

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdyvopfordkErbYCzVeBOkm2GzUoSl52H14iHnaYoSGtK9T9A/viewform