I'm on the verge of crying. I'm literally panicking. Another health issue came up that needs immediate medical procedure. This that gives me the worst anxiety on multiple levels...if I'm unlucky it will not only make me really ugly and I struggle with dismorphia, but also also what I fear most, it will delay my treatment yet again... possibly for several weeks. I finally got a fixed appointment for getting the blood drawn for testing first thing but now I fear the new issue can't wait and needs to be fixed immediately there is akute pain....they probably can't test my blood if there is residual narcotics and painkillers on my system....
Like my anxiety was not already bad since yesterday for other reasons. Now this...I'm really panicking right now. Why is it all breaking at once??

Ok I need to breathe and wait se how bad the pain gets today prepare for being incapacitated by meds while I still can and if I get worse I go to the doctor tomorrow first thing. Good thing I live right next door. Maybe it just got painful because I was feeling the swelling I know I shouldn't drag it out and fix acute things immediately. But the following issues of delayed treatment will be detrimental too possibly reshaping my future entirely.

Urrrghhh im sooo stuuuupiiiiddd!!! And so angry at myself!!!!
I successfully delayed my chances to FINALLY get a blood coagulation test and thus the chance be able to start the treatment that I desperately need for months (but can't get until we know my blood coagulating factor) for another week because I took the wrong painkillers yesterday I usually take paracetamol but I couldn't find it so I took a mixed preparate that contains para and aspirin. Aspirin has a blood thinning effect that lasts for 4-8 days. I just realized this as I was about to call my doctor to see if we can finally get my blood tested. Now I have to wait another week until we can draw blood for the testing. Which will then take another week to receive the results (at least, prolly more) and that delays my therapy even more. My body is already suffering notably from the severe deficiency that needs treatment. I am so angry at myself why did I not think? I work in pharma industry I KNEW of this effect...

Waiting for the doctors to return so I can finally get on with fixing my health drives me crazy. There is a lot of anxiety and what ifs connected to it and I just want answers...this uncertainty and not being able to move forward with treatment because outside factors control timelines is so incredibly frustrating. I feel that every passing day is lost time in this regard.
And since nobody in my social circal seems to care enough to listen to me when I try talking about it and just turn to dumping their shit and their problems on me as soon as we mention health or mental health, I need to vent it out here into the void.

Sometimes the health system sucks....Starting to feel long time consequences of some health issues that I have been dealing with for a while I went to some specialist and Guess what to treat one thing I need another condition fully diagnosed but that doctor is on vacation for two weeks and once that one is returned, doctor one will be on vacation and so in total I have to wait at least 4 more weeks to be able to start treatment if it is even possible to give me that treatment. Not like I have been having that issue for 6 months now and it's starting to cause follow up issues....
Still not sure if the ED is the cause of it all or if my body just hates me and found another way to show me...
But hey, what else is new?

Im dressing as doctor doom fir halloween. Im being doctor doom for the rest of my life.

Even the worst Taliban or Isis terrorist has a more pure mind than these Psychiatric doctors. & MY Loathing & Hate is definately the strongest & most Just - I AM RIGHT PERIOD

Crazy past few days. So I just found out after going to the doctors and 3 other medical places,one MRI..THAT I'm infected with a parasite. So have to have surgery (again...sigh) tommarrow,not looking forward to it but it must be done. UPDATE: The procedure is not till the week after next.

How many of you think this whole RIDICULOUS American Eagle Ad BS is just a Psych Ops to make us forget the Palisades Fires, Biden supposedly has bone cancer, Obama and Clinton are traitors, Fluoride is still in the water, the Vax is still being recommended as they pretend they don't quite have all the info on what's causing Turbo Cancers and giving 5 year olds strokes...Doctors are baffled!

When you want to take care of your health, finally want to face your anxiety and make an appointment with that one special doctor you don't like going to. And they hit you with: "next appointment we have open is in September"
And then they wonder why most things in that department are only diagnosed when it's too late to treat them.