I got a little embarrassed of the production level of my last music video so I went through and I re-edited it and here’s the new version. I’d be honored if you could leave me some comments. Let me know what you think, I really appreciate it! 
https://youtu.be/4vTzN-sORG4?si=8CaBloJAek6hlm1R

Going to be schedule soon a repetition on the MRI on my lombar region ( made on in december ) and depending on the results.. another colonoscopy...
But everyhing leads to a double autoimune illness.... espondiloartrithys/chron disease
what can i say..... suck it up ...

People suck (well not everyone)! Now I should hide away because everyone hates me! I'm too nice and passive! That's why no one likes me. Rejection after rejection for doing absolutely nothing wrong! I put a lot of effort into what I do today as a barista! After 2 days they said I fail! They don't want to see me anymore. That's why I don't want to live here anymore.

De blir bara aska Kvar, Men de gör inget , Det är det värt. ALLLT ALLT ALLT

ADHD Time Blindness hit so hard, it's now 3:30 am and I have to be at work ealry tomorrow. I havent even showered yet & I don't really wanna go to bet because I don't want Monday to come. :(

Oh well at least I found a few job offers barely worth applying to and got a hint of motivation to get that cover letter for some applications drafted. Now I just need to prepare a translation and do some phrase polishing and individual adaptions to the specific offers. Wasted my entire sunday on this so at least I feel less like a faliure now. Small victories...

I'm sinking more and more into one of my sleep escapism-depressions again. Everything is so discouraging and seems so hopeless....

I can barely get myself to leave the bed lately. I lack any motivation and elan to do anything.
Perpetually trapped in task paralysis.

On workdays I push myself to still give 110% despite constantly asking "what am I doing it for its not like it's fruitful for me". Work drains me so much I can't find the energy to look for new jobs after hours.
And on Weekends I am still drained and barely drag myself out of bed after sleeping for 12hr, then I end up on the couch staring into my phone screen doomscrolling, because I can't get myself to sit on my PC and look for job offers because I know there are barely any that are suitable for me. But pursuing my hobbies makes me feel guilty because "I should spend this time on looking for jobs".
So I just sit there on the couch trapped by invisible chains of guilt and discourage while I'm hoping for the unlikely miracle that a Recruiter will find my job profile and it's the perfect match for both sides. And that the world politics wills suddenly be bearable again. But with the current leaders pfft finding the Amber-room again is more likely than having a secure and happy future.
Thats why I keep asking myself: What future am even doing it for?

Karoline Leavitt just STUNNED the Fake News by saying they should WANT DNI Tulsi Gabbard investigating the 2020 election fraud, because THEY peddled the "Russia" hoax

"It's the MEDIA who has said that there's Russian interference in American elections, you guys have been saying that for many many years!"

"So the people in this room considering that you all you all said for many years Russia interfered in the 2016 election to help Donald Trump — you should all be VERY happy that we finally have an administration that is looking into that!" 🔥

"The president wholeheartedly supports both Kash Patel and Tulsi Gabbard in ensuring that American elections are safe!"

Bishop Robert Barron: There was a line from Zohran Mamdani’s inaugural address yesterday that took my breath away. He said he intended to replace “the frigidity of rugged individualism with the warmth of collectivism.” Collectivism in its various forms is responsible for the deaths of at least one hundred million people in the last century. Socialist and Communist forms of government around the world today—Venezuela, Cuba, North Korea, etc.—are disastrous. Catholic social teaching has consistently condemned socialism and has embraced the market economy, which people like Mayor Mamdani caricature as “rugged individualism.” In fact, it is the economic system that is based upon the rights, freedom, and dignity of the human person. For God’s sake, spare me the “warmth of collectivism.”

Words of warning: I'm back on the sauce so anyone looking for sympathy tonight, you're barking up the wrong Hebe. But seriously, some of you are good people.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmU4Xyl00hY