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  • (not sure if anyone reads this, but I think I just need a platform to shout out... not suited for everyone I guess btw..)
    Living with Bipolar Disorder is just the worst... not sure if anyone else is dealing with this shit but the worst are those crashing episodes that you cannot foresee yourself.
    Especially those Episodes where you just running internally mentally wild and the only thing you feel is just that anyone just want to betray and hurt you... even your closest ones.
    In addition, when I'm in a breakdown, the ‘spectrum’ in me swings so hard that I literally become completely blind to communicative schemes and can no longer understand or interpret anything like indirect speech in any way (probably always the main reason why I try to withdraw from anyone).
    In these phases, indirect language is as incomprehensible to me as a foreign language that I can't understand in any way. Unfortunately, very few people understand this because they are used to other ways of communicating with me.
    I'm really not sure what triggered the current episode: the constant stress at work, the stress of being available for everyone and everything every second for the last few months, or my own realization and disappointment that I think I've made so many bad decisions in the past because of my good faith, which have destroyed paths I would have liked to take(career and study-wise).
    However, I currently hate myself more than usual; not only for what I haven't achieved at the moment, but especially for the way I behave towards others uncontrollably during this phase.
    I am unconsciously insulting and offending those who actually want the best for me.
    I hide and deny the real causes until it is too late... (I'm such a coward)
    I wish I would be fixable but I'm not I guess...

    The worst thing is probably this post-episode in which you realize that not only the world itself is the problem, but that your own grievance towards others is also the problem in this world.
    (No wonder why the S-rate is so high in this disorder circle, since most people can't find any other solution).

    Maybe I just want someone to tell me directly and unhinged that they actual love me for what I am and that what I'm trying to achieve is enough
    (not sure if anyone reads this, but I think I just need a platform to shout out... not suited for everyone I guess btw..) Living with Bipolar Disorder is just the worst... not sure if anyone else is dealing with this shit but the worst are those crashing episodes that you cannot foresee yourself. Especially those Episodes where you just running internally mentally wild and the only thing you feel is just that anyone just want to betray and hurt you... even your closest ones. In addition, when I'm in a breakdown, the ‘spectrum’ in me swings so hard that I literally become completely blind to communicative schemes and can no longer understand or interpret anything like indirect speech in any way (probably always the main reason why I try to withdraw from anyone). In these phases, indirect language is as incomprehensible to me as a foreign language that I can't understand in any way. Unfortunately, very few people understand this because they are used to other ways of communicating with me. I'm really not sure what triggered the current episode: the constant stress at work, the stress of being available for everyone and everything every second for the last few months, or my own realization and disappointment that I think I've made so many bad decisions in the past because of my good faith, which have destroyed paths I would have liked to take(career and study-wise). However, I currently hate myself more than usual; not only for what I haven't achieved at the moment, but especially for the way I behave towards others uncontrollably during this phase. I am unconsciously insulting and offending those who actually want the best for me. I hide and deny the real causes until it is too late... (I'm such a coward) I wish I would be fixable but I'm not I guess... The worst thing is probably this post-episode in which you realize that not only the world itself is the problem, but that your own grievance towards others is also the problem in this world. (No wonder why the S-rate is so high in this disorder circle, since most people can't find any other solution). Maybe I just want someone to tell me directly and unhinged that they actual love me for what I am and that what I'm trying to achieve is enough
    2 Commentarii 0 Distribuiri 648 Views
  • Hicimos el amor bajo la luna llena
    Y ahogamos el dolor con besos y poemas
    De amor

    https://youtu.be/JPvwJJ0rkbY?si=5RxtpE0Ivc0_ztPP
    Hicimos el amor bajo la luna llena Y ahogamos el dolor con besos y poemas De amor 🖤 💀 🖤 https://youtu.be/JPvwJJ0rkbY?si=5RxtpE0Ivc0_ztPP
    Like
    1
    0 Commentarii 0 Distribuiri 185 Views
  • LOL @ Israel starting a war with Iran and having us fight it's war for them, lol

    LOL @ Israel starting a war with Iran and having us fight it's war for them, lol
    Haha
    1
    0 Commentarii 0 Distribuiri 375 Views
  • President Trump's supporters looking like lost mice today after Trump embraces Liz Cheneys love for Regime Change wars
    President Trump's supporters looking like lost mice today after Trump embraces Liz Cheneys love for Regime Change wars 😆😆
    Haha
    2
    1 Commentarii 0 Distribuiri 483 Views
  • Haha
    1
    1 Commentarii 0 Distribuiri 156 Views
  • Like
    1
    0 Commentarii 0 Distribuiri 79 Views
  • #animals
    #animals
    0 Commentarii 0 Distribuiri 127 Views
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qt87bLX7m_o
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qt87bLX7m_o
    Like
    1
    0 Commentarii 0 Distribuiri 152 Views
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9z0s3sHWHtk
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9z0s3sHWHtk
    0 Commentarii 0 Distribuiri 160 Views
  • iLL give you the best of the BEST!!!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0w8JP7ReWE4
    iLL give you the best of the BEST!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0w8JP7ReWE4
    0 Commentarii 0 Distribuiri 196 Views
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