https://youtu.be/Q1gZXZNpXHY?si=yO5zT4tRhSnkUaid

I'm really excited about the upcoming weekend and especially to seeing ashbury heights live :D

Ok, I don't know where I suddenly got the energy from, but somehow I managed to almost finish sewing a top for a cyber-goth outfit for an upcoming music festival this weekend :D
I still had doubts on Saturday that I would be able to finish it by the upcoming weekend, but nope; I suddenly had a good idea for the top of the outfit and the realization worked right away.

So much for the planned weekend with a buddy... Probably more of an afternoon playing therapist on site with a meal together instead of over the phone...

I'm neither sad or angry...
I'm just so disappointed.

Guess I just grab a cold-one and call it a day

Well it's time to tidy up the apartment again and check whether a 15-year-old friendship is still working this weekend

Sooooo much to do today and then there's exercise and errands to run after work
I just want weekend

With how busy I've been (much of that self-imposed), and how uncooperative the weather has been, tonight was only the second time I've grilled this year.

I made sure this one counted as a proper "reward" for a long day of yard work, and planning / preparation for Memorial Day weekend!

Took a couple hours off work so I can at least have like 18 hours of weekend instead of 12 :')

Kinda trying to relax and distract my currently really pessimistic head by tinkering a bit on some cosplays of mine.
However I'm kinda too stupid with my brush as I'm sure half the paint ends up on my body when I look at my arms atm.

If I keep this up, I'm going to accidentally cosplay that horrific purple mascot from MC-D :D

It was so clear once again; you're looking forward to a long weekend with the family, finally have the capacity to actively meet up with your social environment again after weeks (aka best conditions), only for something to come up again...

Now I have an extra long weekend just for myself again, although I was looking forward to going out with my family...

Maybe I'll just go out at the weekend anyway, even if it's just with myself

Somehow it has become hard for me to enjoy my socia shutdown alone time. Sometimes I just need to recharge my social batteries and shut myself in for a weekend doing things I enjoy alone like painting and sewing. And sometimes I need several weekends on a row.. But lately I often feel guilty doing this. Today too...Especially if others have asked if I wanna do something or join a get together. Even if they are understanding bc they are also introverted and get it. I feel like they just said it to be nice but are actually upset and think that I am selfish...
But a the same time I hate not having so much time for my hobbies anymore so I look forward to be able to spend an entire weekend on them. Is it selfish to prioritize this over social interactions? I have picked up all these hobbies in the past as way fix the loneliness I experienced for always being the odd one with very little friends. Now I love art more than people because it was always there for me when people weren't. I think thats why it makes me feel guilty now that there are people who want to spend time with me.
Lately I have been struggleing with this thought a lot...but I really need to recharge in order to not completely explode or break down.