Lately, I've been noticing again how I'm becoming emotionally hardened and how everything feels surreal and intangible. However, it's currently at a level of severity that I last felt 7-8 years ago, when I was emotionally dead and constantly wearing a mask that was stuck on.
I wake up at night with my head in chaos and wonder if I can even comprehend or understand the right answers at the moment.
Sometimes I just lie there and stare into the darkness, as if it owes me some kind of answer. But it remains silent. Just like everything else. It feels more like I'm just running through memories of myself.
It's strange... I'm still functioning. I get up, talk to people, do things, smile at the right moments. From the outside, it probably looks normal. Maybe even stable. But inside, it feels like I'm playing a role whose lines I learned by heart long ago, without even knowing why I'm on this stage in the first place.
Lately, I've been noticing again how I'm becoming emotionally hardened and how everything feels surreal and intangible. However, it's currently at a level of severity that I last felt 7-8 years ago, when I was emotionally dead and constantly wearing a mask that was stuck on.
I wake up at night with my head in chaos and wonder if I can even comprehend or understand the right answers at the moment.
Sometimes I just lie there and stare into the darkness, as if it owes me some kind of answer. But it remains silent. Just like everything else. It feels more like I'm just running through memories of myself.
It's strange... I'm still functioning. I get up, talk to people, do things, smile at the right moments. From the outside, it probably looks normal. Maybe even stable. But inside, it feels like I'm playing a role whose lines I learned by heart long ago, without even knowing why I'm on this stage in the first place.
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