Work fucking sucks.
I hate working barely-above-minimum -wage jobs.
But in my condition of having bipolar 2, hardcore depression, anxiety, ptsd and insomnia, i can't work a prestigious job. I don't have a degree and I don't have the money to go to school.
I have very little options except to work through it and hope in the near future, i find something better, or at least something worthwhile.
It's hard to stay hopeful...
I made this anonymous because i don't like people knowing i suffer from mental illness. People can be so reductive, it's not even funny, even when they don't intentionally try to be, you can see their demeanor change when you tell them you have bipolar. Unless they have it, or deal with it with a friend, or family member, they have no idea how to act around you.
It's even worse when you get the other side of it, those who see it as quirky and then ask for handouts and special treatment from everybody, strangers and all.
I don't want special treatment, i wanna be human and left alone to my own britches.
It's quite debilitating to live like this and i wouldn't wish this upon anybody. There are a lot of misconceptions about bipolar from the media that include fucked up celebrities that they use as an example to demonize those who have certain mental illnesses. It's appalling that we still live in an era with very little to no empathy and compassion for one another, but that's the world for ya.
Bipolar makes it hard to sleep, hard to work, and function in everyday life, let alone, being in a relationship.
I will not glamorize mental illness nor demonize it, but tell you my truth.
Everyone deals and goes through different things with bipolar, but at the end of the day, this illness is not curable, only treatable and from the point the information is made available to you that you suffer from it, is the day you have to be on top of yourself for the rest of your life.
There are so many things you have to restrict and avoid to evade a mental breakdown and going manic and having to be hospitalized.
You can't drink caffeine, you can't drink alcohol, drugs, be careful about losing sleep, be careful around sex, internet usage, etc etc.
Being manic is not fun in my experience, it makes me feel so paranoid and hear shitt that isn't there.
Sure, i get my creative bursts, but i would trade that in if it meant i could get some sleep and not have to worry about hurting myself.
This is not easy to deal with and i wouldn't ask of anybody to deal with my baggage, but knowing i am not alone does help. Being listened to and acknowledged helps.
Mental illness shouldn't be a taboo subject, and maybe i should post this without hiding behind the anon shield so we can have an open and honest discussion , but i am in no mental position to be that vulnerable at the moment to a bunch of random people online.
No offense to anyone here, i am just not ready to be that open.
That is all folks, off to my shitty ass job.
Work fucking sucks.
I hate working barely-above-minimum -wage jobs.
But in my condition of having bipolar 2, hardcore depression, anxiety, ptsd and insomnia, i can't work a prestigious job. I don't have a degree and I don't have the money to go to school.
I have very little options except to work through it and hope in the near future, i find something better, or at least something worthwhile.
It's hard to stay hopeful...
I made this anonymous because i don't like people knowing i suffer from mental illness. People can be so reductive, it's not even funny, even when they don't intentionally try to be, you can see their demeanor change when you tell them you have bipolar. Unless they have it, or deal with it with a friend, or family member, they have no idea how to act around you.
It's even worse when you get the other side of it, those who see it as quirky and then ask for handouts and special treatment from everybody, strangers and all.
I don't want special treatment, i wanna be human and left alone to my own britches.
It's quite debilitating to live like this and i wouldn't wish this upon anybody. There are a lot of misconceptions about bipolar from the media that include fucked up celebrities that they use as an example to demonize those who have certain mental illnesses. It's appalling that we still live in an era with very little to no empathy and compassion for one another, but that's the world for ya.
Bipolar makes it hard to sleep, hard to work, and function in everyday life, let alone, being in a relationship.
I will not glamorize mental illness nor demonize it, but tell you my truth.
Everyone deals and goes through different things with bipolar, but at the end of the day, this illness is not curable, only treatable and from the point the information is made available to you that you suffer from it, is the day you have to be on top of yourself for the rest of your life.
There are so many things you have to restrict and avoid to evade a mental breakdown and going manic and having to be hospitalized.
You can't drink caffeine, you can't drink alcohol, drugs, be careful about losing sleep, be careful around sex, internet usage, etc etc.
Being manic is not fun in my experience, it makes me feel so paranoid and hear shitt that isn't there.
Sure, i get my creative bursts, but i would trade that in if it meant i could get some sleep and not have to worry about hurting myself.
This is not easy to deal with and i wouldn't ask of anybody to deal with my baggage, but knowing i am not alone does help. Being listened to and acknowledged helps.
Mental illness shouldn't be a taboo subject, and maybe i should post this without hiding behind the anon shield so we can have an open and honest discussion , but i am in no mental position to be that vulnerable at the moment to a bunch of random people online.
No offense to anyone here, i am just not ready to be that open.
That is all folks, off to my shitty ass job.
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