everyday isjust another missed opportunity to have ended it

What I miss most about this site? The ultra-goths. No matter what holiday, no matter the year. The hobbies, lifestyle, and even the most mundane of experiences. If it didn't involve the color black or Tim Burtonesque...it was frowned upon by the gate keeping elite. Spooky ain't what it used to be.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scif2vfg1ug

I want my emo name to be AC☁︎DC
if i get AC︎DC's permission.......(dont know how yet)

Another rant incoming today...sorry guys....ill delete that later....
just now I was once again proven to have self centered friends... I was messaged by a friend how I was doing and I already suspected that she just asked to initiate conversation and wanted to either rant or get attention...when I started talking about my health issues and how annoyed I was by the system she just replied something generic like "yeah the health system sucks" an then proceeded to Change the topic and show me her new living room chairs...
Like wtf your friends health is just something to causally comment on just to proceed with something so trivial as new chairs?! Feels like my health was just placed in the same important level als new chairs. Thanks for worrying or providing mental support....like I did for her years when she was trapping herself in a toxic relationship.
Last time we met we also talked about how life was going for me for maybe 30 minutes and for 3h I had to listen to her new found lovers and adventures in that regard... sucks being a good listener because at some point that's all you become to your friends...the listener

to be honest... i know when i die i will miss doing a bunch of shit in my life... but to be honest...last 3 years have been a shit....

Sometimes the health system sucks....Starting to feel long time consequences of some health issues that I have been dealing with for a while I went to some specialist and Guess what to treat one thing I need another condition fully diagnosed but that doctor is on vacation for two weeks and once that one is returned, doctor one will be on vacation and so in total I have to wait at least 4 more weeks to be able to start treatment if it is even possible to give me that treatment. Not like I have been having that issue for 6 months now and it's starting to cause follow up issues....
Still not sure if the ED is the cause of it all or if my body just hates me and found another way to show me...
But hey, what else is new?

RIP Ace of KISS.

BREAKING NEWS:

Now we have peace with the Jews and Muslims, the Mulims and the Muslims open fire at each other. Pakistan and Afganistan begin exchanging missles at each other leading to another war.

In other news; there has been an 'accident' while a deligation on route to Egypt in reguards to the middle east peace talks. Intresting I wonder who did that, islamic actors, Mossad, or China. Place ya bets now!