Unfortunatelly im going to have to do medical procedure on my prostate.. cause it's blocking my uretra.. causing me to have bladder and urinary issues... it sucks :X and i just hope that it will fix my problem and no to have to redo the procedure 5 years later or so...

As long as consenting adults freely choose to enter into a partnership, the government has no right to interfere. Marriage, like any other agreement, should be a matter of personal liberty.
The state should not issue or deny marriage licenses. Instead, it should only enforce contract law: protecting property rights, inheritance, and child custody agreements (the same way it would for any other private contract.)

Wow what a shitty End for a vacation. Successfully ruined another persons day again just by trying to open up and share my fears and emotions in hopes to clear my anxiety that I had since yesterday...
But noo triggered somewhat of a fight and anxiety for the other side too.
Aaaaaand thats why I usually bottle things up. When I talk about it I piss people off or make them sad and that worsens my anxiety. Even when I thought hard about how I say it and what I say, it always goes down the wrong pipe and ends with the worst outcome...
Why do I even try again ana again it always ends in disappointment: either I'm a bad trigger or I'm as important as fucking chairs. After all im only good for listening not for talking about feelings. I just muck things up...

I feel like such a human failure...

everyday isjust another missed opportunity to have ended it

What I miss most about this site? The ultra-goths. No matter what holiday, no matter the year. The hobbies, lifestyle, and even the most mundane of experiences. If it didn't involve the color black or Tim Burtonesque...it was frowned upon by the gate keeping elite. Spooky ain't what it used to be.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scif2vfg1ug

I want my emo name to be AC☁︎DC
if i get AC︎DC's permission.......(dont know how yet)

Another rant incoming today...sorry guys....ill delete that later....
just now I was once again proven to have self centered friends... I was messaged by a friend how I was doing and I already suspected that she just asked to initiate conversation and wanted to either rant or get attention...when I started talking about my health issues and how annoyed I was by the system she just replied something generic like "yeah the health system sucks" an then proceeded to Change the topic and show me her new living room chairs...
Like wtf your friends health is just something to causally comment on just to proceed with something so trivial as new chairs?! Feels like my health was just placed in the same important level als new chairs. Thanks for worrying or providing mental support....like I did for her years when she was trapping herself in a toxic relationship.
Last time we met we also talked about how life was going for me for maybe 30 minutes and for 3h I had to listen to her new found lovers and adventures in that regard... sucks being a good listener because at some point that's all you become to your friends...the listener

to be honest... i know when i die i will miss doing a bunch of shit in my life... but to be honest...last 3 years have been a shit....