"How many times did you listen to this?"
Me: "Yes."

Affectmentis CristallDarcy InfernalHate

I've done some reflecting today. I think I have unconciously been spiraling down the depression spiral since November with some high phases re-locating the issue in a very self destructive behavioral patterns. that has led to a distorted vision of myself and my personality. Now have a major setback in my self view and I hate many things about myself that I worked so hard on learning to love. Now I need to re-learn to love these things about myself.
How did it even come so far without ne noticing...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKreI-jVKIM

Why did the blob not eat the pretty girl? =O

Somehow it has become hard for me to enjoy my socia shutdown alone time. Sometimes I just need to recharge my social batteries and shut myself in for a weekend doing things I enjoy alone like painting and sewing. And sometimes I need several weekends on a row.. But lately I often feel guilty doing this. Today too...Especially if others have asked if I wanna do something or join a get together. Even if they are understanding bc they are also introverted and get it. I feel like they just said it to be nice but are actually upset and think that I am selfish...
But a the same time I hate not having so much time for my hobbies anymore so I look forward to be able to spend an entire weekend on them. Is it selfish to prioritize this over social interactions? I have picked up all these hobbies in the past as way fix the loneliness I experienced for always being the odd one with very little friends. Now I love art more than people because it was always there for me when people weren't. I think thats why it makes me feel guilty now that there are people who want to spend time with me.
Lately I have been struggleing with this thought a lot...but I really need to recharge in order to not completely explode or break down.

I finally got to try on that cosplay I made last autumn/ winter the one with the wig that took me weeks to finish. #worthEveryMinute
Can you guess the character??
She has been on my cosplay list for years but I knew the wig would be hard to make so I needed to hone my skills first. Last year i finally felt confident enough to give it a try

I. Have. Been. Emailed. By. A. Cruiseship. Company. From. Hong. Kong. Regarding. Job. Opportunities.
Did not think twice and sent them my CV.

St Pete MASSAGE By XZanthia TEXT 813-263-0761 #stpete #tampa #tampabay #florida #stpetersburg #gulfport #stpetebeach #dtsp #stpetersburgflorida #ilovetheburg #stpetefl #stpetersburgfl #tampaflorida #massage #massagetherapy

#clearwaterbeach #sarasota #tampafl #downtownstpete #southtampa #neuromuscular #largo #igersstpete #Pinellascounty #ilovestpete #massageTherapist #instaburg #brandon #palmharbor #Clearwater

Of course, it was only a matter of time before spiders started appearing in my apartment as the temperatures got warmer...
With my arachnophobia, it really sucks, especially as it's currently exactly the type of spider I react most severely to... And instead of me managing to catch them with the greatest of gritted teeth, they jump away and hide in my clothes in the closet in my bedroom...
Now I'm sitting barricaded on my sofa, "can't" go to sleep and facing the hardest phobia program (heavy breathing to itching all over my body).
It's going to be a really great night and I know that the weekend is completely ruined because of it...
Why do I have to have this severe extreme phobia? Can't it somehow be gentler and "better distributed"?

#tariffs #Nike #Adidas #Vietnam
https://www.techinasia.com/news/us-tariffs-on-vietnam-could-hit-nike-adidas-hard