I'm releaved....still depressed but at least not anxious anymore...
Admittedly, overreacted a little yesterday but honestly it was kinda good that I panicked. It pushed me to not drag this out another week and go to treat it immediately. Because it was early enough, they could still treat the inflammation with only a minor procedure. And no anesthesia or other medications are neededo far So I don't have to worry about my delaying blood test next week. So now back to the waiting game...

Two Jewish guys are walking.....
when one notices a sign on a Catholic church that says "Convert to Christianity, and we'll give you $100."

The one says to the other, "should we do it??" The other says "NO!! Are you crazy?" The first guy replies "Hey, a hundred dollars is a hundred dollars... I'm gonna do it." So he walks in to the church, and little while later, he walks back out. The friend says "well, did you get the money?" He replies "Oh that's all you people think about, isn't it?"

Wow what a shitty End for a vacation. Successfully ruined another persons day again just by trying to open up and share my fears and emotions in hopes to clear my anxiety that I had since yesterday...
But noo triggered somewhat of a fight and anxiety for the other side too.
Aaaaaand thats why I usually bottle things up. When I talk about it I piss people off or make them sad and that worsens my anxiety. Even when I thought hard about how I say it and what I say, it always goes down the wrong pipe and ends with the worst outcome...
Why do I even try again ana again it always ends in disappointment: either I'm a bad trigger or I'm as important as fucking chairs. After all im only good for listening not for talking about feelings. I just muck things up...

I feel like such a human failure...

Not like anyone cares but I'll blog it here anyways... Cause here at least I can pretend ppl care... I'm Ending vacation with a bad migraine attack and possibly an incubating flu. Great. Not like my I overall declining health has been enough strain in my body and mental health.

Maybe I shouldn't have made plans for Halloween at all... Just ended with a ruined evening and feeling bad about being the cause of it...

So this is too funny...I wake up around 6 to work out,slept in today. I was listening to this album and the creepy awsome into started playing,a wolf howls in the distance and my neighbors dumb dog is all "W00f ! W00f ! W0000f!" It fears the darkness !!!! Guess I know what songs I'm adding to my playlist,here is the album for all you cool cats. Astarte-Doomed Dark Years (2017) Black Metal. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=O1fNcFBrTO4&list=RDO1fNcFBrTO4&start_radio=1&t=2289s&pp=ygUHYXN0YXJ0ZaAHAQ%3D%3D

Nothing is quite straight anymore. Our new album, Cattywompus 2025, has arrived.
https://youtu.be/r2A1BfnNAfA?si=JiCtqmnPH-dwxbGG

Today at work, we discussed and agreed on the last project weeks of the quarter.
Only 8 weeks left (with lots of potential for overtime)...
After that, I can finally go on vacation.

The Schumer Shutdown is basically a month long vacation for Useless (Oops, I meanzzz "Non-essential" federal employees