Lately I've been watching urbex v-logs on youtube. Because thats what you do when depression hypersomnia has f*ed up your sleep chedule and task paralysis keeps you from doing things aside lying around.
Seeing all these lost places, especially the abandoned houses is kinda sad. Time capsules of different lifetimes and many of them tell a story of a very lonely life. So lonely in fact, that there wasn't even anyone who cared enough to take care of what was left behind after their passing.
I watch these late at night and find myself afraid that one day the place I made my home will be like this because I scared away anyone who cared about me by just being so damn socially incapable and do not feel the right feelings.

I bet many of these "odd loners" that lived in these places were stuggeling and became hermits because they were on a spectrum but undiagnosed as it was not a thing back then.

Yet i also find these abandoned places insaneley beautiful. I love seeing how nature takes back the earth from what was once a concrete/steel place. I wish i could go to these places just to be alone and think.