My best friend told me she got engaged. This feels so weird. A few of the same age people I know are engaged. But when the girl with whom you played Dress up and pretended to be princesses meeting their princes, suddenly announces her happily ever after, reality hits hard.
She has been with her boyfriend for 10 years now and I'm super happy about them She has been through a lot of family losses in the past years and he was always her anchor. I love her like a sister I wouldn't give her to anyone else.
Yet it hits me hard in the face that while she is tying the knot, I still struggle so much to even understand my own feelings and affections. I'm kinda jealous and feel somewhat helpless and useless.
Also I think she wanted to ask me to be a Maid of honour but I fear that I must somehow have made the impression that I wouldnt want to so she didn't ask. I hope that's not it because I don't want her to feel rejected.
This just keeps me restless now.