Dental Problems: An American Tale

Me: I've got an absess in my jaw that won't really respond to antibiotics. I'm getting worried.

My dad: Just do what I do. Take a few shots of whiskey and then punch yourself until it pops. It's going to hurt and taste like shit but it does the job.

Me: The tooth that's causing the issue is loose. I'll probably just take pliers and yank it out in about a week.

My dad: DON'T DO THAT! You're going to give yourself an infection!

Me: I... I already have an infection. I think the only way I can make it worse is if I punch myself in the jaw...