Dearest [laurababy134]

It is with great despair that I write this publicly, but I feel instantly betrayed by your actions

My heart leapt for joy when you choose me out of the many users to message and ask to discuss a matter in private. I had the perfect scenario laid out. Barry White playing in the background, the half drunk bottle of champagne sat in the lukewarm air and the cheap haribo replica looking wedding ring hidden among a half eaten punnet of strawberries

However, my heart was broken when I saw you were posting the same copy and paste message to everyone else here

Therefore, we have nothing to discuss except how you have broken my heart and how I now have to tell my eccentric great aunt Mildred that I have not found a worthy wife in order to inherit her vast fortune when she passes away from years of smoking

Yours sincerely
Chunk

P. S. It wasn't a replicated ring, I just painted a standard haribo ring gold and sprayed it with glitter