Just du kkan BLI! en medberoende. TAG CHANCEN

IT LOOKZ like i dont need Zyprexa anymore . Cause im such a Jolly FELLOW. OR PERHAPS an ODD FELLOW

Forgive me Father i am a WOOOOOORM!

I hoope your Terrified

And once again I'm only talked to when there is boredom to fill. And the how are you feeling is just the excuse to text me
It's so sad that Pinterest seemed to care more than the real persons in my life. Oh What great and caring friends I have.

Heat dome parked over the eastern USA. Am I concerned? No...In my day, we called it Summer and we simmered in 180F heat in the shade. Not that there was much shade, mind you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FapDsYN-M_k

The weather forecast said it will rain this evening. Liars...

The study also finds that listening to modern pop music causes brain damage and uncontrollable bowel movements in 100% of the cases.

(not sure if anyone reads this, but I think I just need a platform to shout out... not suited for everyone I guess btw..)
Living with Bipolar Disorder is just the worst... not sure if anyone else is dealing with this shit but the worst are those crashing episodes that you cannot foresee yourself.
Especially those Episodes where you just running internally mentally wild and the only thing you feel is just that anyone just want to betray and hurt you... even your closest ones.
In addition, when I'm in a breakdown, the ‘spectrum’ in me swings so hard that I literally become completely blind to communicative schemes and can no longer understand or interpret anything like indirect speech in any way (probably always the main reason why I try to withdraw from anyone).
In these phases, indirect language is as incomprehensible to me as a foreign language that I can't understand in any way. Unfortunately, very few people understand this because they are used to other ways of communicating with me.
I'm really not sure what triggered the current episode: the constant stress at work, the stress of being available for everyone and everything every second for the last few months, or my own realization and disappointment that I think I've made so many bad decisions in the past because of my good faith, which have destroyed paths I would have liked to take(career and study-wise).
However, I currently hate myself more than usual; not only for what I haven't achieved at the moment, but especially for the way I behave towards others uncontrollably during this phase.
I am unconsciously insulting and offending those who actually want the best for me.
I hide and deny the real causes until it is too late... (I'm such a coward)
I wish I would be fixable but I'm not I guess...

The worst thing is probably this post-episode in which you realize that not only the world itself is the problem, but that your own grievance towards others is also the problem in this world.
(No wonder why the S-rate is so high in this disorder circle, since most people can't find any other solution).

Maybe I just want someone to tell me directly and unhinged that they actual love me for what I am and that what I'm trying to achieve is enough