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Lately, I've been noticing again how I'm becoming emotionally hardened and how everything feels surreal and intangible. However, it's currently at a level of severity that I last felt 7-8 years ago, when I was emotionally dead and constantly wearing a mask that was stuck on. I wake up at night with my head in chaos and wonder if I can even comprehend or understand the right answers at the moment. Sometimes I just lie there and stare into the darkness, as if it owes me some kind of answer. But it remains silent. Just like everything else. It feels more like I'm just running through memories of myself. It's strange... I'm still functioning. I get up, talk to people, do things, smile at the right moments. From the outside, it probably looks normal. Maybe even stable. But inside, it feels like I'm playing a role whose lines I learned by heart long ago, without even knowing why I'm on this stage in the first place.

Black Canary "Back Ally Shift" Two years ago, I took advantage of this awesome back alley to make this crossplay as Black Canary happen. The LED lighting was perfect in assisting me with the right lighting in the right place, where I could create a scene similar to Batman and Green Arrow comic books, along with some fan artwork I drew from. The city of Camdenton is great for anyone who wants to do cosplays and goths without going to the big cities. Sometimes, the good old small towns tend to have what you need and want to make your day that much better. That July night was definitely one of them.

Goth is becoming more popular than it has ever been. Take for example The Cure cover "The Perfect Girl" that has by total over billion streams. Of course a lot of it has to do with universal feeling of melancholy, spread through TikTok. Just noticed that even TWIX uses Belarusian postpunk song that quotes Russian poet's words about institutionalized life, where death feels more cozy than life - but there's a desperate longing to face life directly, to cry, and to keep living rather than disappear. Btw, this Twix commercial got banned in Britain. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7lBA5aX-iI While TikTok follows trends - and I'm quite surprised to see something as underground as Radio Werewolf being played by teenagers & young adults - there's also people like a clothing market in St. Petersburg (Russia), named Kissa Market (Kissa means Cat in Finnish) that isn't just a company but a whole philosophy and a collective answer to life's struggles. These photos market their own brand of clothing, and their shop in the "ruins of empires".

How's public transport in your country? Before switching to a train, I were on a buss where each seat had tablet, you could play Anrybirds and what not. I guess we have to make sure that people are distracted at all times!

Here's my compilation: "What is Goth (Video Album)" I recommend to watch it when you have the time to let it carry you and reveal what it has to give, like playing an unknown album from a library. https://youtu.be/A5LBLhRAew8?si=kSpsfreCwOrnY-sv

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/375275806789?_skw=dream+playing+cards&itmmeta=01KHRC02ZB1BNQFSZ3E9PX15ZA&hash=item57602e6045:g:wMYAAOSwrl9nlzeH&itmprp=enc%3AAQALAAAA8GfYFPkwiKCW4ZNSs2u11xAHfG1k3HpGW6KgFIiguwXJQw95%2Bdcj2BxO%2Femr38HlJh5g7lwBBTaqYGlmky%2Bp6r30XTrUdQGjo85AcZ79zbbqxCbqrND3HmHNo8WPxRahkuPpaC33TQqfrn1RjwjhjS5ns9dFFKEQoAXrl89ZxMmZMnd2ho1wQJPb1MAv3qmgmIbvNWJUYAiZQGGrgL8hxBkCBxqpQBjsj9Y1rjKIeO1JJWRz4z9So19OqG1uSmhlKMzXxlEC8PS0ZfgcE5Gvp0iPzwD6V4ucsMszpDbfX35Yf6t0BhIQAZX9HR1hE7a%2BeQ%3D%3D%7Ctkp%3ABk9SR4SwgIyOZw

Not gonna lie, those Overwatch announcements got me hype. Anyone play?

Happy birthday to the only individual who could have ever played Eric Draven, the iconic Brandon Lee (R.I.P) 🖤

Well, the media has wasted no time with Black History Month. I've seen an article about a NBA player who claims he felt disrespected as a black man because a white referee called a foul on him. Another article claiming Shakespeare was a black Jewish woman. Two or 3 more on how whitey is evil. With the media complicit regarding some of the violent "protests' going on in the country, you'd think they'd had their fill of identity politics and divisiveness...but no. They are habitual line steppers.