You know that feeling of being scared to be happy even for a brief moment? Because that sensation when your happy little world crashes down and wrenches your entire gut and closes your thoat is the worst. And the bad always seems to come smashing down when you've just started floating again. So you avoid the crash by any cost. just not allowing youself to float up with happiness again. If everything remains in shambles maybe the bad won't come because ther is nothing left to shatter...
But sometimes you are dumb and faint glitter of hope makes you think maybe I'll try floating again maybe this time it won't crash. But it will.
Just one call and a nice and relaxed weekend that finally cheered me up a bit, became the start of probably the most difficult time I'll have to face...
I'm trueley terrified of whats ahead...

Been an insane past few weeks,battleing on/off being sick as it warms up here,potentially going to a industrial doom metal concert but not sure yet,there was a Doom metal brunch event I was going to the day before yesterday but just was too work out from the week,still working on music and the per usual artsy things,seeing the Psycho Killer film with my best friend tommarrow,very excited....

tfw you still read Chainsaw Man in 2026

[Jessy] and [Lobotomy] this, interesting read, might be a good argument to bring it back, but then again, it might also be a detrimental effort….
https://allthatsinteresting.com/insane-asylums

Things have been...well...just insane. I've had a lot of appointments and am taking care of my mental health,going gluten free witch is incredibly difficult. My Bandcamp will be active again soon,I'm still playing guitar and bass working on new things as I type. Still making my photography as well. Got this concert coming up,fellow redhead ginger warrior friend of mine will hopefully be meeting me at the venue,going to be heavy !

This album is pure genius. Every time I play this for someone they flip the fuck out. https://youtu.be/AGnwrEuPpGs?si=1E3vEKEuSsNSAsv-

Getting through (or trying to) one of the toughest work weeks I've ever had,thanksgiving week right before always is insane and it doesn't stop there (I think I mentioned last year the turkeys literally "Flying off the shelves") not getting my hopes up for a chill week this week at all,I do have some PTO so I might try to plan something if I'm able,I never like to stop or quit so I just go go go as much as I can...I DID get to go see Spirit Box with Periphery and another band,it was a great concert as I've been a fan of SpiritBox for awhile. My best friend of 13 years and I went,upgraded our seats from the standing balcony to sitting with tables,totally worth it! The bands we all tight and so so talented,SpiritBox totally kicked butt and my neck is still recovering from all the headbanging I did,overall amazeing and much needed !

Mental illness has spread. Bring back insane asylums. It’s a CHILD. Children can not make a decision, hence not know whether or not it’s a boy/girl. Let them be ! Let them just BE a child.
https://x.com/AVGirl4Life/status/1987004852875243945