Somehow it has become hard for me to enjoy my socia shutdown alone time. Sometimes I just need to recharge my social batteries and shut myself in for a weekend doing things I enjoy alone like painting and sewing. And sometimes I need several weekends on a row.. But lately I often feel guilty doing this. Today too...Especially if others have asked if I wanna do something or join a get together. Even if they are understanding bc they are also introverted and get it. I feel like they just said it to be nice but are actually upset and think that I am selfish...
But a the same time I hate not having so much time for my hobbies anymore so I look forward to be able to spend an entire weekend on them. Is it selfish to prioritize this over social interactions? I have picked up all these hobbies in the past as way fix the loneliness I experienced for always being the odd one with very little friends. Now I love art more than people because it was always there for me when people weren't. I think thats why it makes me feel guilty now that there are people who want to spend time with me.
Lately I have been struggleing with this thought a lot...but I really need to recharge in order to not completely explode or break down.

I know that lately I don't really post anything else than music....But listening and discovering unknown bands or deep diving into my old music library is the only thing that I can do while going about my busy days. Lately there is not much time or energy left for other hobbies....
with that... here is what sweetened my evening today while i was driving my brother around...
https://youtu.be/GSz51onJTM8

Today is one of them days where I have Zero Motivation to work but 100% Motivation to pursue my hobbies. Unfortunately i gotta earn money to spend in the materials first... i can’t wait to get home and do fun stuff.

I guessed its time, I posted something. I've never real thought a lot of myself, but I'm trying something new. Hello my name is DarkrasGarou. I'm a gamer and I play D&D and I have other hobbies as will. I may be odd or wired as fuck, but I think I have a good heart. If any more wants to know more just as ...

Went to bed 2hrs before my usual bedime just to listen to music and daydream for the rest of the day bc too tired even for gaming or watching TV. I'm Really Living my youth.
Dear work life, I'd love to at least have enough energy left for my hobbies when I come home. Thank you very much.
I'll probably also spend most of the weekend sleeping....