Nothing is worse for a highly intelligent and gifted person to be under-challenged and underwhelmed....

Today, I came home from work crying because I realised how underchallenged and boring my work currently is. My expertise is currently not being used because customer projects come in slow and don't get to the downstream processing/purification part (I'm a specialist for protein pruification). I don't get many other opportunities to show my skills and knowledge and only do some minor backup tasks like writing working instructions...Nothing about my work currenly feels rewaring and chellengeing. I am a scientist, I love the try and error and the challenge! I thrive in that. I literally work best with stress and being overloaded with work than with being underwhelmed...
On top of it I'm gettin really bad imposter syndrome because of not being able to show my expertise while my colleagues currenlty thrive and get ever opportunity to show their knowledge and expert fields. We got a new teamlead in march and so far I feel like I could not show off/prove my skille and knowledge to him while the others could. I feel like I'm standing in the shadows sometimes even being actively pushed back into them. Like a tool put in a shelf not neede for now collecting dust.
It's incredibly frustrating and deressing for me because I am a scientist by heart I love my profession...

Now my overthinking brain gets even to the point where I'm asking myself if they are boring me out on purpose, so I leave the company on my own accord and they don't have to fire me, because they can't without a reason....
I'm more and more thinking of actually looking for a different posititon... Maybe I'll apply for a pHD after all...

I am so proud of myself. I have dealt with heartbreak and found a new love all in the same year. Divorce sucks , but I think my heart has been hurting for along time. I’m happy I can pick myself back up. Living on my own is going to be different but it’s needed. I am in the process of finding myself again, because she’s been lost for about 5 years.

I decided to take a different approach to my face Swaps this year, and paste my face onto these photos as a big woman. Now I'll admit I'm not Megan Fox body sexy, but I'm not this big in some of these either. I'm chubby but hopefully not too offensive.
But I am me. If you want to see the real photos of me, look at my profile pictures.

AI generated, you say? The lyrics are generic and the riffs are tight but monotonous. I give it a 5.5 out of 10. Best comment, all the guys look like they have the same father but different mothers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AE9b_WBUexg

I don't know why I think of it differently from when I wrote it . . . I wonder if I need to change the last word to warplanes . . . https://medium.com/@Zi_Will/to-for-ours-88f6cabe4239

This is noteworthy. I probably had the most DUMB thing happen at work ever,there is a co-worker in a totally different department who is now "scared" of me and has been starting drama with another co-worker in the same department,the one who I scared of me tries to act and dress punk/goth but I feel is just putting on a show and enjoys putting other people down,extremely weird behavior,so either she likes me and doesn't want to say it or is just messed up in the head. Been with the same company for awhile and I don't plan on leaving. ..so weird....people are.

I don't know if it used really different before or if it's just a feeling, but when I think about vacation I always make a list of all the things I want to do that I don't have time or capacity during the work weeks.

Now I'm finally on vacation and the first thing I think about is just sleeping.
Sleeping... and not waking up.

And just like that, they hide the fact, that everyone had their performance review already done in December 2024 and a decision was made that nobody will get any salary increases whatsoever. Thence, why this pushback to a different date regarding my performance review. Fuck you all and your hypocrite culture. On top of that, it seems like it's more important for you motherfuckers to change CEOs every 2-3 years than it is to actually promote people that are going above and beyond consistently. I'll just focus on getting a new job at this stage and tell you all to fuck off. :^)