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In breaking news the Americans have given the Iranian ayatollah a surprise funeral, the Iranians have decided to play missile and drone ping pong which they are losing but sort of doing quite a lot of damage against all their neighbours as a response including against the strait of Hormuz. Stay tuned for more as this situation develops for questions like will ayatollah 2 also have a surprise funeral, is Bibi dead and it's ai? Will the rest of the world run out of oil which had nothing to do with any of this to begin with?

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At the 7-Eleven, storekeeper unveils new security device to keep people from loitering around the Slurpee machine.