Either I'm too stupid for social interactions or I'm just getting along with private social understandings a lot less lately than I already do.

I really don't have many friends, which is a shame because I normally like company, but my last experiences with company or trying to socialize or make friends were more or less a disaster.
I'm beginning to suspect that this is more of a primal human feeling of envy, not having many friends (greed for something more) when I look at the whole thing reflectively.

It's just ridiculous how clear and open communication is thrown out the window and is seen as a strange, perverse kind of challenge to some people.

Somehow it has become hard for me to enjoy my socia shutdown alone time. Sometimes I just need to recharge my social batteries and shut myself in for a weekend doing things I enjoy alone like painting and sewing. And sometimes I need several weekends on a row.. But lately I often feel guilty doing this. Today too...Especially if others have asked if I wanna do something or join a get together. Even if they are understanding bc they are also introverted and get it. I feel like they just said it to be nice but are actually upset and think that I am selfish...
But a the same time I hate not having so much time for my hobbies anymore so I look forward to be able to spend an entire weekend on them. Is it selfish to prioritize this over social interactions? I have picked up all these hobbies in the past as way fix the loneliness I experienced for always being the odd one with very little friends. Now I love art more than people because it was always there for me when people weren't. I think thats why it makes me feel guilty now that there are people who want to spend time with me.
Lately I have been struggleing with this thought a lot...but I really need to recharge in order to not completely explode or break down.

#aliens #movies #reaction
Younger generations react to ALIENS...
https://youtu.be/VYC7HeKK9pw

Watching reaction videos made me realize how many white rappers there are today and how futile their effort is. This is how you lame crackers should do it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8z_nR0cOOU

#StarWars #actionfigure #Revan #OldRepublic #Jedi
https://bleedingcool.com/collectibles/new-star-wars-the-old-republic-jedi-knight-revan-statue-revealed/

For those of you with a reaction channel and don't like censorship...there is an explicit version. The way God intended and if you were alive back in 1990, you'd know this!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msrq0HjwJUM

Omfg. Fuck this disrespect from the management.
I do my work fucking well and then they go for the 3rd time fucking things up behind my back without consulting me.
Today apparently the plan was to dismantle a Google Meet equiped meeting room completely without my knowledge because apparenlty sound barriers needed to be installed. Then I get a message from one of the Google engineers saying the devices stopped responding and that they weren't aware of such actions taking place.
I'm done with this shit. Not only they expect me to do everything, they also don't wanna give me a pay rise + they keep doing the shit like this behind my back.
I really need to quit this shit as soon as possible but until I get a new job, that's not possible...

I'm fucking furious. If you idiots think you can do better than me, then you're welcome to assemble things again and I expect them to work. I won't engage in any of this shit facilities do anymore...