vampcels get mogged frfr nocap

I'm sinking more and more into one of my sleep escapism-depressions again. Everything is so discouraging and seems so hopeless....

I can barely get myself to leave the bed lately. I lack any motivation and elan to do anything.
Perpetually trapped in task paralysis.

On workdays I push myself to still give 110% despite constantly asking "what am I doing it for its not like it's fruitful for me". Work drains me so much I can't find the energy to look for new jobs after hours.
And on Weekends I am still drained and barely drag myself out of bed after sleeping for 12hr, then I end up on the couch staring into my phone screen doomscrolling, because I can't get myself to sit on my PC and look for job offers because I know there are barely any that are suitable for me. But pursuing my hobbies makes me feel guilty because "I should spend this time on looking for jobs".
So I just sit there on the couch trapped by invisible chains of guilt and discourage while I'm hoping for the unlikely miracle that a Recruiter will find my job profile and it's the perfect match for both sides. And that the world politics wills suddenly be bearable again. But with the current leaders pfft finding the Amber-room again is more likely than having a secure and happy future.
Thats why I keep asking myself: What future am even doing it for?

Dominicane [Lobotomy] Jess
One of the stories is about a guy called brian in texas the last one about the black eyed kids !!!

https://youtu.be/eWANHcSyL5s?si=x3zGQ4RfdbwGTpCT

Hmm either the company I work for has just given me some incredible leverage to practially demand a raise or the whole thing has a big catch and they hope that I am to gullible to see it.

They recently laid off 20 % of the employees becasue of funding problems. Unfortunateley they also fired the person who was appointed officer for biological safetey... Now they desperateley need another employee to become that. But there is only a handfull of people who can thake the position as it has special requirements. Most suitable people don't want it because it is a hassle. I am amongst those few suited ones and they just asked me yesterday if I were interested in getting that extra qualification.
TBH I don't really want the hassle that comes with it and I am planning to leave the company as soon as I find a better job anyway. But the qualification will look very hot on my resume...
I have been fighting for a wage increase. Since I know they are desparate, I could practically bribe them into giving me a BIG fat raise or I will just not do it.
What do I have to loose? They can only say no then I'll also say no too. So what? It is a voluntary extra position, they cannot fire me for declining the responsibility. For me, things will stay same and they'll still have no one to be Biological safetey officer. Their probelm.

But I am not trusting them anymore so I kinda smell a rat (not the cute cuddly kind that smells like love and popcorn)...what could it be???
Will I have to give up my project lead position? Is it a degradation in disguise? WHAt could be the catch???
Time to do some research....