You know that feeling of being scared to be happy even for a brief moment? Because that sensation when your happy little world crashes down and wrenches your entire gut and closes your thoat is the worst. And the bad always seems to come smashing down when you've just started floating again. So you avoid the crash by any cost. just not allowing youself to float up with happiness again. If everything remains in shambles maybe the bad won't come because ther is nothing left to shatter...
But sometimes you are dumb and faint glitter of hope makes you think maybe I'll try floating again maybe this time it won't crash. But it will.
Just one call and a nice and relaxed weekend that finally cheered me up a bit, became the start of probably the most difficult time I'll have to face...
I'm trueley terrified of whats ahead...

with my back turned
im back
all you sluts and foreigners
to nocho senones surprise
and2 everywons surmise
ijust happen
tobe here
unstead of there
andi donteven know
or
justeven care
im just aware
and affectious

Another day wasted by sleeping too long and then forcing myself to do chores like groceries...
I sat down to look at job offerings to at least do something useful instead of staring at my phone. Just to find that the only job offer that I had my hopes on is expired. They probably filled the position and didn't even read my application anymore. All other things I find are not in my expertise and also not in my local vicinity....
This disappointment was the last thing I needed right now. I was already in the ditch feeling burned out, abandoned and left alone with my problems. People are just too busy to care. Now I can put hopelessness right next to it on my depression Bingo card...
What an awesome start this year. And with the current political situation it will only get worse. Shit time to be alive our future is as rosy as a dumpster. I'm loosing any desire to see it.

Best Valentine's Day Card EVA

My legs are so sore. Feels great and horrible. The leg exercises and cardio after a budy day at work added up. Here i am still on my feet at dave and busters.

I'm having an extremely shitty day. days of work for the bin because the detection failed. This project is being such a bitch. Great.. running on overtime again and for what it's not even giving me good results. I am so pissed by this. I can forget about my Hobbies and sports again. I'll just go to bed what's the point of having a life anyway. I just hate that this stupid company has such a major impact on my private life. More and more I envy the people who were laid off. Because they don't have to carry the burden of our leadership's incompetence anymore.

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Ya know, I always wonder why his second term is so much different than his first term, but man, this dude has too much free time on his hands, who cares about this bunny loser? Don't like his anti-American show? Watch the Turning Point Half time show with Kirks wife, who probably spent the show banging one of his friends in back of their car or banged Kid Rock after the show.

Trump did know.. he had an alternative to watch, right?

Trump's not wrong about this opinion, I'm just saying, no one cares about the Superbowl or it's halftime anti-American Woke Show.

The truth is, the NFL does not cater to Conservatives or anyone who are 'enemies' to the Democrat Party and their Woke ideology, the NFL has been woke, has been anti-American for years now, it ain't changing, Mr President!

So, stop giving idiotic, anti-American, woke celebrities like Bunny, so much undeserved attention and focus on doing your job, as President!

All you're doing is giving these celebrities more promotion and making them more popular.

We don’t give a damn about the color of your skin, but however we do care about freedom, equality and character.
https://x.com/DineshDSouza/status/2019773539784511772