I am bummed, depressed, haven't been feeling well for quite some time, and I am blank as a fart when it has been dealing with my creative endeavors. I have been under lots of stress, putting up with all the bulls**t from others and living in this sewer trap of a rural town, as I despise the surrounding counties and want out of this state and area so badly.
I fear my life is over. I'm 47 and will be 50 in three years as I wept a few times over that. I have a degree that I feel I cannot make use of, I want this other degree, and I feel I do not get the kind of support I need financially, and I feel I have been kind of neglected emotionally and mentally lately.
It is hard for me to talk about things as it is, and it seems when I attempt to vent or express my troublesome feelings and such...no one is to reply back or I do not get any replies. But it seems there are some people who want me to stop and drop everything for them when they need an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on, but when I have these same needs and such I get blown off like a fart in the wind, no one replies back, and I'm left feeling stupid, hurt, and having this belief that noone really cares how I feel, what I want, or that lending me their ear or shoulder Is a burden to them when I need someone.
It's a very lonely world. And I feel like I have no answers or know what the next step is.
Sorry, I just had to get this off my chest. This is the only site I feel free to do so.