I can't help but wonder, how would things be if i hadn't talked about things that night. If I had just kept my troubles to myself as I did all the time in the past, would that avalanche still have come? Maybe it all would have come down a little later. Maybe I'd have figured out my self by then and could have given an answer then. It kills me not being able to give any answer at all. You don't deserve this.

It took me years to learn talking about whats troubling me and gaining the courage to also just share bits and pieces of my troubles online to recieve some unbiased opinions. Recently I feel like, takling about things is whats backfireing...