I think I'm starting to have a creative burnout due to regular burnout...

Somehow my latest "Just-for-fun" cosplay project that I just did for the sake of fun not for an upcoming convention or contest has become my "Frustration-Project". And that sucks!
The wig I'm styling for it is not making any progress and I have been working on and off on it for 2 Months...I never worked on such a complex wig re-styling with constructing a detachable Ponytail before, so I expected it to take longer... But whats frustratiing is that I dont't get to, or can't motivate myself to work on it for more than one hour per week on average. Which is really frustrating!
I really want to finis it to start on other things...I know if I just put it aside for other things I will never pick it up again to finish it.
I don't want it to end up on the unfinished project graveyard... =(

I've been gone for some time. I have a VampireRave account that i was experimenting with cause I wanted a taste of the old VampireFreaks days (I just like the complete freedom on how you could design your profile on it). Its still up but my premium membership expired so I gotta renew it eventually but money is tight right now.

#English #Europe #Greece #Croatia #Netherlands #Norway #language
https://www.euronews.com/travel/2024/11/18/netherlands-croatia-greece-where-its-easiest-to-speak-to-locals-if-youre-an-english-speake

Goth Rave

https://youtu.be/qHMcqCRmHxo?si=nSMhW4u4scppRe4N

My soul really needed this long weekend for myself...
I was mentally burning out in the shadow of a high functioning facade for 2 months. I needed a break from life and from functioning perfectly. A small vacation without any obligations or an agenda. Just me alone and my art. And the luxury to decide on on a whim, what I feel like doing. No places to be at certain times, no schedule, no peole to meet... Just time passing by at my own pace....
I know its odd, but spending time alone is actually the most relaxing for me. Going on vacations/traveling is just stressing me out.

Have you ever had that nagging sensation that you're out of place among the wrong people? Lately, I've struggled to find any opportunities at the place where I live. It feels like months have gone by with only empty promises from work, leaving me burnt out and unable to enjoy even the simplest pleasures.

I can't shake this profound loneliness I've experienced for weeks, and it's perplexing since I’m in a relationship. It's odd when you are being told that they are here for you and to try to respond to this as often as possible on the same level, even when your social battery is depleted, yet still feel so utterly isolated. The depths of my depression have made it hard to get out of bed for days, with tears flowing freely.

Am I misguided in my expectations of what a relationship should be? When I realize that a house is on fire, for example, and I hear some calls for help, I try to rescue this person from it if possible and don’t avoid it because it might be too “hot.” I believe in stepping into the flames to support those I love, to hold their hand as we navigate the chaos together. Yet, here I am, feeling like I’m trapped in my own burning house while my partner stands outside, unsure whether to come in or watch from a distance.

I’m left feeling so conflicted… I love my partner deeply, yet I also feel profoundly abandoned and overlooked. I want to believe that love can withstand these moments of despair, that we can face life’s struggles as a team. But the distance created by unspoken words and unmet expectations feels like an insurmountable wall between us.

I often wonder if I’m asking for too much—if my desire for connection is unreasonable in a world that often seems too chaotic to handle. Shouldn't a partner be a safe haven, a source of comfort during the storm? Or am I just searching for validation in all the wrong places?

The fear of losing that connection, of being vulnerable and showing my true self, holds me back. There are days I crave honesty, but what if that honesty exposes too much? What if it reveals the depths of my struggles, and in response, all I receive is pity instead of understanding?

Dark Bass
Beat Slaves
Misbehave
Goth Rave

https://youtu.be/q_eOzqXB-Kg?si=kt4jjy9whwOC8w0H

There is a baby buried by my father in law that we have been bringing things for including a solar powered sunflower light pointed at her stone so she has a night light. We had noticed no one was checking on her. Yesterday we were visiting family and her and her grave still had the light from us there as well as a bunch of new decorations! So glad to see someone else paying her some attention

Zombie Twist Rave


https://youtu.be/Nqi1aUBTUKQ?si=C0U-ttNWROlrtsxj

My tolerance for edgelords and cringe is at an all time low. I can no longer be polite to discord admins, reddit mods, mall ninjas, guys who think they're Eric Draven, NLOGs, nice guys, porn addicts, religious nuts of every flavor, those who frequent r/conspiracy, people who put tradition above progress, etc. So there goes like 85% of this website.