#painting #paintingoftheday #Jesus #Christ #Thomas_Kinkade

Im thinking of quitting inktober (yet again) before i even really started on it. Idk just the thought of planning and actually making an ink drawing every day stresses me out. Although it was something that I easily did in the past. Even multiple ones a day... I think it's because of not having as much time to invest in art anymore I kinda lost my connection to it. I rarely get to sit down to actually paint. Every year I start the inktober challeng in hope to get my connection back but every time for the past 3 years I end up having to quit halfway through for multiple reasons like getting behind lacking time. This year I'm already stressed about having to catch up on the first few days that I missed.
Maybe I just had a bad start...I wanted to warm up by finishing one of least years works that I never got to complete and I totally messed it up and on top it tore apart when I tried to remove the one year old masking tape... Seems like an omen...
I will still dedicate this month to art and especially watercolor painting. But I think I will not do the inktober challenge for now. Maybe I will get to do the last half of it later but just now I need to get back into the peaceful/mindful mindset that I need for doing watercolor. Pushing myself with a challenge will not help here.
I started watching YouTube draw with me videos of one of my favorite artists there. It helps getting back into watercolors and Inks.

Painted some baby pumpkins with my daughters.

#haunted #Haunting #paintings #paint #Crying_Boy #UK #metaphysical #paranormal #paranormalmystery
https://drdavidclarke.co.uk/urban-legendary/the-curse-of-the-crying-boy/

Van Gogh imersive experience... 30 min of many of Van Gogh paintings projected inside an old water house .. very nice :)

https://youtu.be/dyihQtBes1I?si=XwXfw30SNj-UCBQB

Obsolescence might shoot nails into his dick, paint it green and pull his cactus while shoving a beer bottle up his ass but you know what they say......if it makes you happy

Took a couple hours off work so I can at least have like 18 hours of weekend instead of 12 :')

Kinda trying to relax and distract my currently really pessimistic head by tinkering a bit on some cosplays of mine.
However I'm kinda too stupid with my brush as I'm sure half the paint ends up on my body when I look at my arms atm.

If I keep this up, I'm going to accidentally cosplay that horrific purple mascot from MC-D :D

I knew it.




I'm just not worth to be described. Because the only way im seen is when I function. When im useful.
How will anynoe describe me as anything elst than "the one that waters their plants on vacation" ot "that drives them around". Im not "the one with the soft bouncy curls" or "the one that always has paint on her Fingers" bc these little details that make me a person are never seen. They are not useful...

In slowly but surely falling into an even darker place...

Once again Lucy Krugers gentle and melancholic voice is the only thing that keeps me grounded and comforts me. It's he only voice I want to hear rn and my paintbrushes are the only thing I want to hold on to. But I am forced to function. Listen to everyone yap and pick up the pieces of myself that break off along the road.
I am so tired
https://youtu.be/EvaWwpTvm0o?si=dT_fCbd3ZbsB5_Fg