The best thing about the Main Wall Time Warp, is that @Dominicane is finally getting all his old posts read, posts that were buried by his barrage of posts, lol xD

"Once the rain is over, an umbrella becomes a burden to carry. - That's why loyalty ends when benefits stop."

Yeah...
I'm experiencing that a lot. As soon as their problems are solved or they have dumped their emotional burden on me there is suddenly no time to listen to my troubles...as soon as I start sharing I'm dropped or quickly disregarded with one sentence...and people wonder why I never open up and talk about things easily...

And once they stop benefiting from me altogether the friendship dies out... I'm not just worth being kept around just for the sake of it.
It's not like I haven't been struggling with self loathing for months and my self view wasn't already ruined on many levels...

Am I in a time warp or are there main wall posts from a month ago? lol

This woman never disappoints me when it comes to making songs that speak to my soul and tickle my brain I love her music and I'm so grateful she pursuited a musical career even though she was forbidden to...
Her music always comforts me darkest times.
yhttps://youtu.be/x7Pw91G__GA?si=TPBbFzitPQDB0gpR

Why can I never sleep more than a few hours at a time?

Not. a. single. Time.
Texted with my friend all evening. Not a single time did she ask how I was feeling if I got better since the last time we talked. Even when I hinted towards my depression. She did not ask further. It was probably too bothtersome. Just complaining on how bored she is, how she didn't know what to eat blah blah blah.
That's what I'm good for. To reach out to when there is nothing else to do. Or when there's emotions to dump. That's my use? Is The reason to exist in her circle? I'm so sick and tired of only existing when I have a function.

#book #books #booklover #bookworm #Dark_Academia

https://www.timesnownews.com/lifestyle/books/features/10-dark-academia-books-that-are-both-intellectual-and-dangerously-addictive-article-151477489

Limited Time Only. Avail only at https://steampunkartemporium.etsy.com

Aand off to be fulfilling a function again...people pleasing at it's peak sacrificing at least 1h 30 of my free time do again doing something I will not receive an ounce gratitude for from the person im doing it for...oh the bliss of having family...

Sometimes wonder how people see me and what words they would use to describe me. And If it would sound as poetic as when people are described in books and songs. Because my own eyes and word's aren't very nice or poetic anymore.