I'm on the verge of crying. I'm literally panicking. Another health issue came up that needs immediate medical procedure. This that gives me the worst anxiety on multiple levels...if I'm unlucky it will not only make me really ugly and I struggle with dismorphia, but also also what I fear most, it will delay my treatment yet again... possibly for several weeks. I finally got a fixed appointment for getting the blood drawn for testing first thing but now I fear the new issue can't wait and needs to be fixed immediately there is akute pain....they probably can't test my blood if there is residual narcotics and painkillers on my system....
Like my anxiety was not already bad since yesterday for other reasons. Now this...I'm really panicking right now. Why is it all breaking at once??

Ok I need to breathe and wait se how bad the pain gets today prepare for being incapacitated by meds while I still can and if I get worse I go to the doctor tomorrow first thing. Good thing I live right next door. Maybe it just got painful because I was feeling the swelling I know I shouldn't drag it out and fix acute things immediately. But the following issues of delayed treatment will be detrimental too possibly reshaping my future entirely.

#RomanEmpire #Antiquity #Rome #roads #network #Infrastructure #Archaeology #History
https://www.zmescience.com/science/archaeology/scientists-just-remapped-the-entire-roman-road-system-all-300000-km-of-it/

Another rant incoming today...sorry guys....ill delete that later....
just now I was once again proven to have self centered friends... I was messaged by a friend how I was doing and I already suspected that she just asked to initiate conversation and wanted to either rant or get attention...when I started talking about my health issues and how annoyed I was by the system she just replied something generic like "yeah the health system sucks" an then proceeded to Change the topic and show me her new living room chairs...
Like wtf your friends health is just something to causally comment on just to proceed with something so trivial as new chairs?! Feels like my health was just placed in the same important level als new chairs. Thanks for worrying or providing mental support....like I did for her years when she was trapping herself in a toxic relationship.
Last time we met we also talked about how life was going for me for maybe 30 minutes and for 3h I had to listen to her new found lovers and adventures in that regard... sucks being a good listener because at some point that's all you become to your friends...the listener

Sometimes the health system sucks....Starting to feel long time consequences of some health issues that I have been dealing with for a while I went to some specialist and Guess what to treat one thing I need another condition fully diagnosed but that doctor is on vacation for two weeks and once that one is returned, doctor one will be on vacation and so in total I have to wait at least 4 more weeks to be able to start treatment if it is even possible to give me that treatment. Not like I have been having that issue for 6 months now and it's starting to cause follow up issues....
Still not sure if the ED is the cause of it all or if my body just hates me and found another way to show me...
But hey, what else is new?

#life #nature #prison #bills #system

Christian Nationalism. The act of legislating morality and asserting power using a corrupt political and judicial system in the name of a Messiah who most likely was the most compassionate and liberal person to ever exist.

HAhahah fukk the deathscrolling. All of this is more Relevant. Im overpowering the system. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBcrW1fkak8