Nothing is worse for a highly intelligent and gifted person to be under-challenged and underwhelmed....

Today, I came home from work crying because I realised how underchallenged and boring my work currently is. My expertise is currently not being used because customer projects come in slow and don't get to the downstream processing/purification part (I'm a specialist for protein pruification). I don't get many other opportunities to show my skills and knowledge and only do some minor backup tasks like writing working instructions...Nothing about my work currenly feels rewaring and chellengeing. I am a scientist, I love the try and error and the challenge! I thrive in that. I literally work best with stress and being overloaded with work than with being underwhelmed...
On top of it I'm gettin really bad imposter syndrome because of not being able to show my expertise while my colleagues currenlty thrive and get ever opportunity to show their knowledge and expert fields. We got a new teamlead in march and so far I feel like I could not show off/prove my skille and knowledge to him while the others could. I feel like I'm standing in the shadows sometimes even being actively pushed back into them. Like a tool put in a shelf not neede for now collecting dust.
It's incredibly frustrating and deressing for me because I am a scientist by heart I love my profession...

Now my overthinking brain gets even to the point where I'm asking myself if they are boring me out on purpose, so I leave the company on my own accord and they don't have to fire me, because they can't without a reason....
I'm more and more thinking of actually looking for a different posititon... Maybe I'll apply for a pHD after all...

JeSs I haven't figured out the wallet thingy yet. Mind you, back in the day, I was accustomed to meeting fine upstanding Colombian men wearing cheap cologne and carrying Louis Vuitton Monogram Briefcases. The contents of which are not yet declassified.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crDTz1skj9c

White soccer moms make me nervous and I'll tell you why. I was perusing through the avocado section at the grocery today and this blonde Aryan poster woman wearing yoga pants and drinking sparking water taps me on the shoulder and asks me if the fruits were ripe. I said yea, but at my age they hang lower and are more robust than what you're used to. Tried to be friendly, but now I'm barred from store and her husband has threatened to meet me out in public when I least expect it. You gentiles sure a a contentious bunch!

Urgh post vacation blues hit hard. Why has working become so boring?! meetings this morning were like...

found this exploring a sike ward

How to censor the Internet a simple guide.

> Create a safety act
> Other countries pick it up (CA, UK, EU, AU)
> Isolate the US tech companies through law
> US tech companies loose money
> US tech companies call for changes
> US Government calls for subtile changes
> It will presented as 'protecting the youth
> A loud minority of voices will ask for it
> US Government will pass subtile changes
> The downfall can begin

This is the playbook on how the internet will be censored. Many are going to bring up the 1st amendment but this doesn't apply to private companies and they will always do what they can to make money. They will bend the knee in time when they loose money and the US is isolated online by the rest of the world they will push for the censoring of the internet in order to keep their revenues and lobby the government.

My man necessaryevil has decided to give up smoking. I congratulate him/her on his/her commitment, but this in no way means we'll be sharing an oxygen tank together in the near future.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTV5FvNCbhk

A friends teen fam member tried to commit s*icide recently and the first thing said was she only cut her wr*sts thats not a real attempt. I had to think about the thoughtsin my head in that moment. When I was that friends teen fam members age I was a cutter, still got the scars and to hear it be simply dismissed as it was "just her wrists" baffled me. She's in hospital for the next while but.. I hope they take it seriously because to hurt that deep... if your hurting please dont let it swllow you whole.. reach out to someone and if you know someone hurting like that don't judge or dismiss. You never know whats going on in someones heart and soul and what pain they might be enduring.

I wanted to film new tiktok cosplay content during my vacation but so far it has been too hot for wearing wigs
But I'm also feeling like I'm wasting my free time feeling bored right now...