Happiness and good Fortune are like a golden sand flowing into an hourglass of life sometimes there are black grains representing the bad things that sometimes happen but for most they are tuning to gold once they reach the majority of gold. But for some people the sand has more black grains than most, and some of those tend to give their few golden grains to others to help them turn their black to gold, which often leave the givers with overpowering obsidian sand that often turns new gold to black. And if they ask others for just a speckle of gold in return to help Turing the black to gold, they often have to beg for it or end up turning the others sand black just by opening their their hourglass. I am certainly one of the latter people. My body and mind is filled with poisonous black sand and my tongue turns it into venom injecting it to others whenever reach for support or comfort. I have realized a very concerning pattern that gives me the worst anxiety right now. I'm poisoning the last golden grain of sand whenever I open my heart and don't swallow my feelings for once. I should finally stop trying and go back to being the quiet listener that gives her golden grains to others and fights against the black by herself. That will spare me from a lot of feelings of disappointment, and anxiety and guilt about upsetting others by voicing when I'm being upset or disappointed. I'll just suck it up and be too forgiving for my own good the sake of harmony. How sad is that? I have become scared of being upset because it upsets others and I feel guilty then. Can one be more of a peoplepleaser just to not end up all alone? Today was a terrible day on so many levels, not only was I still feeling upset, I was also anxious to the point of barely being able to breathe because I had I realized this destructive and poisonous pattern that always, really ALWAYS has been following when I open up and threatens the last good thing I have that is supposed to be an anchor right now. And on top of all, some actually supposedly good news came in from a friend but I can't be happy for them instead it really pulls me down because the topic reminds me of my health issues that are kinda related... And as I currently have no one to talk to because my tongue is venomous and I just ruin everone elses minds, I have to rant it out to strangers in the internet. Maybe the more creative writing approach I took in the beginning is at least somewhat enjoyable to read. It was kind inspired by this song... https://youtu.be/FK3TDHnD1_0?list=RDFK3TDHnD1_0

Restaurants Offering Free Meals or Discounts to SNAP Cardholders (November 2025) https://freebiemom.com/restaurants-offering-free-meals-or-discounts-to-snap-cardholders-november-2025/ These are organized by state and county.

Hey Bl4ckros312 , sorry about that cat post. I was just ranting, because a friend of mine that betrayed me does that all the time. I actually chased down his cat that escaped his house one time to save him from getting lost / run over. His cat scratched the hell of me though. I also had a cat for awhile, and regret I couldn't keep him. So, can we still hook up? Never mind.

Another rant incoming today...sorry guys....ill delete that later.... just now I was once again proven to have self centered friends... I was messaged by a friend how I was doing and I already suspected that she just asked to initiate conversation and wanted to either rant or get attention...when I started talking about my health issues and how annoyed I was by the system she just replied something generic like "yeah the health system sucks" an then proceeded to Change the topic and show me her new living room chairs... Like wtf your friends health is just something to causally comment on just to proceed with something so trivial as new chairs?! Feels like my health was just placed in the same important level als new chairs. Thanks for worrying or providing mental support....like I did for her years when she was trapping herself in a toxic relationship. Last time we met we also talked about how life was going for me for maybe 30 minutes and for 3h I had to listen to her new found lovers and adventures in that regard... sucks being a good listener because at some point that's all you become to your friends...the listener

Got to love the UK, I'm out the country for 2 years, might a well extend it to 5 years; rent my property to the government. I get guaranteed 5 years rent, free repairs and mantainace. If I house asylum seekers. Looking at the numbers that'll net me £100,000. No wonder landlords are evicted British Tenants.

FDA Expands Hand Soap Recall to Sanitizer, Deodorant, and More Due to Sepsis Concerns https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/other/fda-expands-hand-soap-recall-to-sanitizer-deodorant-and-more-due-to-sepsis-concerns/ar-AA1M6S6Y?ocid=msedgntp&pc=HCTS&cvid=64ca2230bee54c23953353c44f524e80&ei=13

So after blocking the closure of hotels in the UK to be used to house Illegal mirgrants, and the home office admitting it cares more for illegal mirgrants than the British people. Protests are turning from peaceful to aggressive, the police being hostle and are fanning the flames. In other news local coucils who try the same thing as Epping, will be sanctioned by West Minister Government leading to all out war with 'Little Britian' as Labour, Reform, and Conversative Coucils fight the burden of unwanted and unwelcome migrants being forced on them.

I love playing golf as its the only time I can guarantee by days ends I'll of put my fingers in a hole.

#scifi #movies https://screenrant.com/sci-fi-movies-groundbreaking-important-as-2001-a-space-odyssey/

#videogames #gaming #dystopia #Bioshock #DeusEx https://gamerant.com/best-dystopian-games/