Can't sleep because I overthink, overthinking because I can't sleep.

#introvert #overthinking

Urgh I can't sleep thanks to overthinking...

Sometimes I hate my anxietey....This is probably nothing bad but my overthinking head just gives me the fear that very soon, I'll be brutally reminded of what a failure of a person I am...

So what passed through my head today was this.. When there is a sci fi convention and there are aliens, vampires, and werewolf cos players you ever wonder if the real thing is there laughing its ass off at us going wow these people are dumb lol xD I can just imagine an alien who looks human seeing some dumbass in a green or gray suit with a giant head talking about their probing and the alien going I wouldnt touched that with a 20 foot probe or a vampire eating a pizza slice with garlic? What about a werewolf with great hair and skin that doesnt LOOK like any kind of werewolf lol. LOL yes my mind is overthinking tonight lol.

Heh. I am at this stage in my career where I think I could be a manager already considering all the skills I've acquired during the years YET for some reason, when I apply for those positions or when I work hard towards achieving that, I would just get pushed back. "Oh, Matti, we just don't feel like you're fit for this yet and you haven't proven yourself yet." Bitch, I'm capable enough to do 5 people work. What do you mean? I do your shitty training to climb up the ladder even and still get a no. The worst part is that I notice how bad at managing current managers are and I see flaws in the organisational part of things straight away. When I point out what is wrong or when I give suggestions, they just get ignored. Then, sometimes more work would be added just because I'm good at doing my job which is another low blow. Am I doing something wrong here or is the corporate culture itself that's so broken and prevents this from happening? 😅 Yeah, is it just me that feels like this or is anyone else struggling the same way? 🙃 Yeah, my overthinking got to me again, it seems. 🤘

https://youtu.be/gOpsMHPh5kk I'd like to get to know you I'd like to take you out We'd go to The Hail Mary And afterwards make out Instead, I'm typing you a message That I know I'll never send Rewriting old excuses Delete the kisses at the end When I see you, the whole world reduces To just that room And then I remember and I'm shy That gossip's eye will look too soon And then I'm trapped, overthinking And yeah, probably self-doubt You tell me to get over it And to take you out But I can't, I'm too scared And here's the night bus, I have to go And the doors are closing, and you were waving And I like you, and I'll never let it show...