Nothing is worse for a highly intelligent and gifted person to be under-challenged and underwhelmed....

Today, I came home from work crying because I realised how underchallenged and boring my work currently is. My expertise is currently not being used because customer projects come in slow and don't get to the downstream processing/purification part (I'm a specialist for protein pruification). I don't get many other opportunities to show my skills and knowledge and only do some minor backup tasks like writing working instructions...Nothing about my work currenly feels rewaring and chellengeing. I am a scientist, I love the try and error and the challenge! I thrive in that. I literally work best with stress and being overloaded with work than with being underwhelmed...
On top of it I'm gettin really bad imposter syndrome because of not being able to show my expertise while my colleagues currenlty thrive and get ever opportunity to show their knowledge and expert fields. We got a new teamlead in march and so far I feel like I could not show off/prove my skille and knowledge to him while the others could. I feel like I'm standing in the shadows sometimes even being actively pushed back into them. Like a tool put in a shelf not neede for now collecting dust.
It's incredibly frustrating and deressing for me because I am a scientist by heart I love my profession...

Now my overthinking brain gets even to the point where I'm asking myself if they are boring me out on purpose, so I leave the company on my own accord and they don't have to fire me, because they can't without a reason....
I'm more and more thinking of actually looking for a different posititon... Maybe I'll apply for a pHD after all...

Royal mail is a brilliant company; imagine buying a clock that has survived 120 years running without a break and then in two days royal mail breaks the thing. Such a lovley little clock, now needs repairs. Royal mail wonders why they have no support.

LOL IM watching my inbox cause my friends at work and were chatting during his non busy moments lol. Love when my friends are chill like that not to mention hes fun company lol.

#Spain #energy #infrastructure #power #society #socialization #touch #humans #people #blackout

And the true socialization procedure started...

https://www.fastcompany.com/91326177/this-is-how-it-feels-at-the-beginning-of-the-end-of-the-world

"Look at you comforting others with the words you wish to hear" Again only been seen when I'm of use... A friend of mine is texting me. I thought she wanted to check on me because I told her 2 werks ago that I'm down the ditch and not doing well...turns out she's just bored because she sprained her ankle and can't go out and her dick boyfriend does not do shit to entertain her... She's an extrovert so she thrives outside with company...
I'm just the entertainment and the emotional dump to rant about her bf again...not a single question on how I have been doing...

Either I'm too stupid for social interactions or I'm just getting along with private social understandings a lot less lately than I already do.

I really don't have many friends, which is a shame because I normally like company, but my last experiences with company or trying to socialize or make friends were more or less a disaster.
I'm beginning to suspect that this is more of a primal human feeling of envy, not having many friends (greed for something more) when I look at the whole thing reflectively.

It's just ridiculous how clear and open communication is thrown out the window and is seen as a strange, perverse kind of challenge to some people.