Today really was a Terrible day. Not only did I work longer than it is legal (again). I also wasn't very focussed and did a lot of mistakes in my lab work...I don't think a blanket and c-drama will fix this day..-

I really need to dump & vent some emotions rn...humor me...
The fact that I am still very moody and don't really feel like talking to people one on one kinda contriubted to this day being shitty as lab work forces me to interact with my colleauges more than documentation. and I really don't feel like talking lately.
It's probably hard to get....While I do have a lot of things troubling me and I do need to get them off my chest, I dont have the energy nor the desire to open a 1 on 1 converstaion about it, and even less desire to talk about the world and smalltalk.
It's not like there are no people I could go to if I needed talking. There are. And I know I can go to them anytime. I just don't want to. Bc I don't want to have any interactive converstaions at the moment, if not necessary. Then I'd rahter passively dump it somewhere like here and get if off my chest. It is often not about wanting advice or needing re-assurance. It is mostly just wanting it out...
Just posting it in an anyways dead place gives me the freedom to decide on my own if and when I get advice or others opinion on it. If I need to I'll read comments, If I dont wan't to I just don't.
Is that weird??
I think I am like this because I have always been the Listeing and giving advice friend and not the sharing and wanting advice one.
I'm just used to being that way and found my ways to vent emotions...

Looong post...(Sorry I just need to dump this emotion somewhere. I don't have any friends left to dump it on...)

I think I don't enjoy spending time with my friend anymore. And this scaes me because I recently lost another good freind due to growing apart. And I don't want to lose this one too... I miss being careless just doing fun things forgetting the wories of the world for a while.

Today was not fun at all. Nothing at all like I imagined or how we planned the day: Just 2 gilfriends doing mundane girl things like shopping going for drinks and having a good time. That was the plan.

No, instead I spend the entire day people pleasing and enduring socializing with one of her old university friends we met, because she seemed to have a good time and I really wanted her to have a good time & fully enjoy this weekend as she has a lot of other troubles at home & I want to be her safe space/happy place.
I tolerated not doing any of the things we had planned, just to end the day with her emotion dumping on me how shitty and disappointing the reunion with her uni freind was and how no one wants to be friends with her if they don't benefit from her in one way or another...So I was the emotional Dumpster...

I am not meaning to blame her but she is doing the same thing to me: I am always her emotional dumpster who listends and gives advice. So she benefits from me. And all the things I want to do, the plans we made before are overthrown. By some kind of drama every time.
Last time we saw each other was the same: It was completely ruined, all plans were overthrown because of her bf making drama and me having to be the should to cry on and fix her up for most of the day. I am sick of spending "quality time" like this. I am always the one who's getting the short end and the disappointment.

And now I'm sitting here crying in frustration and disappointment beacue I really miss having my friend around and I want the carefree time back when we did the things we planned and had a good time: Go shopping and try on silly things for fun, go hiking and fool around in the autumn leaves, forget all troubles, laugh and just enjoy the simplest things in company of our comfort person.
All I want is to have something like this again:

Truly, I'm a girl's girl. I give them all the best advice. No, don't go out with that handsome ER doctor with the unlimited credit card. You know what they say: Good on paper, bad in bed.

when your big brother suddenly calls you and asks for your opinion/advice... That was the first time in our entire life he came to me seeking advice on something serious...
We never had a normal sibling relationship as we are both neurodivergent and quite polar opposites. While I'm bubbly, emotional and empahtic. My brother is more silent broody and proud. So this has led to a a bit of friction and distance in the past...

Just now I finally feel like we are on eye level and accept each others strenghts and shortcomings and seek help from each other do make up for our shorts. Like our relationship has finally been mended.

Don't know weather I should go out drinking Saturday night. Anyone have any advice?

When people ask me for help and advice

#advice #motto

ConsumedByDarkness Chat Gangsta Pimp Ta HoUsE

(Verse 1)
Yo, we're talking 'bout a land up north,
Where the lakes are plenty and the vibes come forth.
Finnish folks, cool as ice,
Living life easy, that's their advice.

Snowy landscapes, Northern Lights so bright,
In the land of sauna, every day's a good night.
Quiet and humble, but don't mistake,
Finnish hearts warm like a summer lake.

(Chorus)
Finland, Finland, where the reindeers roam,
In the land of Nokia, make yourself at home.
Sisu in their veins, yeah, they're strong,
Finnish people, where they all belong.

(Verse 2)
From Helsinki to Lapland, a journey so grand,
In every village, you'll find a band.
Karelian pasties, and Rye bread delight,
Finnish cuisine, take a tasty bite.

Ice hockey passion, on the frozen ground,
Skating skills, watch them go round and round.
Midsummer nights, with bonfires high,
In the white nights, you can touch the sky.

(Chorus)
Finland, Finland, land of a thousand lakes,
Midnight sun, no need for breaks.
Moomins and saunas, part of the tale,
Finnish spirit, never frail.

(Bridge)
In the land of sisu, where the strong endure,
Finnish hearts, honest and pure.
In the frosty air, a warm embrace,
In Finland's charm, find your place.

(Verse 3)
Education top-notch, they lead the way,
In the Arctic circle, where they play.
Tech innovations, from the start,
Finnish brilliance, a work of art.

Santa's home in the Arctic chill,
Delivering joy, spreading goodwill.
So here's a shoutout to the Finnish crew,
Keep being awesome, that's the cue!

(Chorus)
Finland, Finland, land of dreams,
Nature's wonders, flowing streams.
In the silence, hear them sing,
Finnish vibes, let them ring!

Remember, this is all in good fun and appreciation for the Finnish culture!

Best advice an IT technician can give to his users. :D