Happiness and good Fortune are like a golden sand flowing into an hourglass of life sometimes there are black grains representing the bad things that sometimes happen but for most they are tuning to gold once they reach the majority of gold. But for some people the sand has more black grains than most, and some of those tend to give their few golden grains to others to help them turn their black to gold, which often leave the givers with overpowering obsidian sand that often turns new gold to black. And if they ask others for just a speckle of gold in return to help Turing the black to gold, they often have to beg for it or end up turning the others sand black just by opening their their hourglass. I am certainly one of the latter people. My body and mind is filled with poisonous black sand and my tongue turns it into venom injecting it to others whenever reach for support or comfort. I have realized a very concerning pattern that gives me the worst anxiety right now. I'm poisoning the last golden grain of sand whenever I open my heart and don't swallow my feelings for once. I should finally stop trying and go back to being the quiet listener that gives her golden grains to others and fights against the black by herself. That will spare me from a lot of feelings of disappointment, and anxiety and guilt about upsetting others by voicing when I'm being upset or disappointed. I'll just suck it up and be too forgiving for my own good the sake of harmony. How sad is that? I have become scared of being upset because it upsets others and I feel guilty then. Can one be more of a peoplepleaser just to not end up all alone? Today was a terrible day on so many levels, not only was I still feeling upset, I was also anxious to the point of barely being able to breathe because I had I realized this destructive and poisonous pattern that always, really ALWAYS has been following when I open up and threatens the last good thing I have that is supposed to be an anchor right now. And on top of all, some actually supposedly good news came in from a friend but I can't be happy for them instead it really pulls me down because the topic reminds me of my health issues that are kinda related... And as I currently have no one to talk to because my tongue is venomous and I just ruin everone elses minds, I have to rant it out to strangers in the internet. Maybe the more creative writing approach I took in the beginning is at least somewhat enjoyable to read. It was kind inspired by this song... https://youtu.be/FK3TDHnD1_0?list=RDFK3TDHnD1_0

https://soundcloud.com/sanddrill_77/agreed

https://soundcloud.com/sanddrill_77/wintermescal

#UFO #UFOx #UFOs #uapX #UAPs #underwater #maritime #oceans https://www.aol.com/articles/ufo-tracker-shows-thousands-eerie-194529430.html

Columbus Day is Monday. For Italian Americans, it's another excuse to get drunk. For the far-left, it's another excuse to remind the country of the atrocities against Native Americans. For thousands of government employees, a day off and a trip to the unemployment line. Happy holidays! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eZqkaP37po

Serious question. Why are cat owners so adamant about their pet's divinity? I know the Egyptians put the felines on a pedestal. That was thousands of years ago. I suspect the internet resurrected the notion, but how can a mammal be any more special than another? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eunWuKxfAC8

Good workout today. Pecs moved a thousand miles per hour.

There are people saying what happened to charly was a professional hit ,becsuse slowed down the video shows the shot hit his chest and ricoched up towards his neck ,i dont see it but maybe its true 🤷 Theres got to be thousands of professional hunters /shooters in utah tho

https://pjsandpaint.com/printables/free-printable-halloween-games-and-activities/

PINK AND BLUE AWARENESS PROJECT The Pink and Blue Awareness Project is a 100% volunteer run project that makes and donates bracelets to be worn in October for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. ​We wear these bracelets beginning in October to raise awareness and to honor the thousands of babies lost to pregnancy and infant loss every year. One in four men and women suffer pregnancy and infant loss, often in silence. Wearing this bracelet shows your support for these families. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdyvopfordkErbYCzVeBOkm2GzUoSl52H14iHnaYoSGtK9T9A/viewform