It really isn't all that difficult of a choice as the meme depicts. I crawled inside a whiskey bottle and stayed there for years without much damage.

Some of my recent drawings

XZanthia.com 🐙 XZanthia – Jupiter’s Thunder is dark, sexy, and theatrical horror-pop music that blends twisted fantasy, raw emotion, and bold performance art into one wild, unforgettable sound.


#darkmusic #horrorpunk #altmusic


https://youtube.com/shorts/nACthGxulT0?si=BzDpcyTp28w-j9LV

Princess Bunny Peach "Now Showing"It's been a year in the making, and with some good luck and finally the right timing, I got this crossplay as close as I can to some drawings and cosplays of Princess Peach in a bunny costume. Instead of using the showgirl dress, I found it wayyyyy back in 2007. I thought I'd change it up some and go with a bunny costume for spring and the showing of the Super Mario movie that's out now. My only regret is that the wig could use a tad more detailing, and I was going to use a different and more Farrah Fawcett wig style. But that will be for a future upgrade for later on. For this year, and all, not a bad crossplay that was successful.

“To live is to be born, to suffer, and to be able to overcome suffering." — Victor Hugo.
Dive into Les Misérables for raw humanity you hope that outlasts despair.

He, he! Was mucking around, drawing facial expressions from a Manga Drawing guide. I couldn't help myself....

YouTube.com/XZanthiaMUSIC 👽💿🎤🎶🎵 This is music that refuses to sit still.
It isn’t here to soothe you or fade into the background—
it exists to keep you alert, slightly off-balance,
never certain what’s about to unfold next.

Every moment is a corner you haven’t turned yet.
Just when you think you understand it,
it shifts, lunges, softens, surprises.
It’s an acquired taste, absolutely—
not something inherited, familiar, or politely nostalgic.
This is not comfort food. This is appetite disruption.

I want the sound to confuse you, to intrigue you,
to make you uneasy in a way that keeps pulling you closer.
To catch you enjoying tension,
finding pleasure in resistance,
realizing that discomfort can feel intimate
when it refuses to let go.

You may not always know what you’re hearing,
but you’ll never be bored—
because at any moment it’s ready to leap out,
wrap around you,
and pull you into that strange place
where struggle feels like an embrace.



Project 19.5 is an ethereal, esoteric music project that began in 1998, long before genres like “witch house,” “dark ambient,” or “experimental pop” had names attached to them. What started as intimate sonic experimentation grew over decades into a body of work shaped by collaborations with multiple producers across different eras, each phase capturing a different emotional frequency and psychological landscape.

Rather than traditional songwriting, Project 19.5 focuses on much, but not all non-lyrical vocals, breath, tone, texture, and instinct. My voice is treated as an instrument—hovering between noise, chant, dream, and ritual—allowing listeners to project their own meaning without being guided by explicit words. This approach creates an immersive emotional experience that exists somewhere between beauty and unease.

In 2025, the project entered a new phase: revisiting, remixing, and remastering archival material to finally release it in its most refined and intentional form. These recordings preserve the raw spirit of their original creation while enhancing the depth, clarity, and atmosphere—bridging past and present into a singular evolving entity.

Project 19.5 represents the ethereal side of XZanthia—still haunting, still unsettling, but softer and more internal than her darker project, Jupiter’s Thunder. The Project 19.5 album Uzumaki exists within this realm as a gentler spiral, incorporating lyrics while maintaining a dreamlike, hypnotic quality.

This is music designed to be felt rather than understood—a liminal soundscape for introspection, transformation, and emotional resonance beyond language.

I'm on the verge of crying. I'm literally panicking. Another health issue came up that needs immediate medical procedure. This that gives me the worst anxiety on multiple levels...if I'm unlucky it will not only make me really ugly and I struggle with dismorphia, but also also what I fear most, it will delay my treatment yet again... possibly for several weeks. I finally got a fixed appointment for getting the blood drawn for testing first thing but now I fear the new issue can't wait and needs to be fixed immediately there is akute pain....they probably can't test my blood if there is residual narcotics and painkillers on my system....
Like my anxiety was not already bad since yesterday for other reasons. Now this...I'm really panicking right now. Why is it all breaking at once??

Ok I need to breathe and wait se how bad the pain gets today prepare for being incapacitated by meds while I still can and if I get worse I go to the doctor tomorrow first thing. Good thing I live right next door. Maybe it just got painful because I was feeling the swelling I know I shouldn't drag it out and fix acute things immediately. But the following issues of delayed treatment will be detrimental too possibly reshaping my future entirely.