I'm at the verge of crying every day...Wednesdays and Thursdays are always the hardest work days for me currently. I practically have to drag myself to work everyday and it's hardest on these days.
Next Monday I have a 1:1 with my boss...I hope I can address the issues. Although I would prefer to talk to another person First to get their opinion before taking to my boss. I think that would be more strategic but I will not have a meeting with them until next Wednesday. And I don't think I can wait this long...the longer leave this unresolved the more anxiety I'm developing about this. It's such a dilemma: be strategic and tall to the righ person first, but deal with my fears and anxiety a week longer or just talk to my boss directly without having that other insight. I feel so burdened by it. And no one can really help me except those 2 supervisors. So I have to carry this until they have one for me.
I can barely focus on the little work I do have and that makes my anxiety even worse because I feel even more useless and like I'm not performing well that makes and my fears that they are planning to let me go even worse...

Another day of endless boredom at work. Being underwhelmed/underchallenged and having condescending colleagues is an awful combination. I'm developing the worst imposter syndrome and start believing that I am on the sidelines because I'm useless. I want least Year back I'd rather have the stress and project burden because that at least feels productive and successful.
I'm really work depressed lately. I'm seriously considering of looking for a new job...maybe do phD after all maybe that's the sign I was waiting for.

Trump is a 10/10 on the Idiot scale at the moment, He wants to get into a nuclear war over something Medvedev said, Medvedev isn't the president of Russia, Putin is, Everything Medvedev says should be considered the same as if a US comedian said it!

#Trump #submarines #Russia #navy #military #maritime #Medvedev #USA #nuclear #United_States
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c93dgr2dd53o

The Hunt for Red October has just begun!

ahhhh dats why its so fucking hot, the devil was born in july !!

I hate too do this to a beautiful time piece but needs must as the devil wants. In order to fix one clock, I need spair parts, even for someone with alot of time of their hands I do not have the skills to make parts from scratch and even the clocksmith told me if they were to make them from scratch it would cost up to $1000 to fix a clock I bough for $75. So the only other option is buy another broken down clock for its works and salvage the working parts. Whats left I'll keep aside and restore it when a clock works goes on sale on ebay which is rare these days. For the time being and in order for this pretty case not to go to waste I'll convert it with a modern Quartz movement and restore its mechanical works when I can get the parts to restore it; its also missing a pendulum which is also problem as mantle clock works are rearer than wall clock works and pendulums are matched to the works.

Evil evil evil
#🫦 #5thpcpgallontoday #feelingdevious

I am the Devils Concubine YAah hhaarwww Grurgel!!!

ITS the Cause my Soul