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  • (not sure if anyone reads this, but I think I just need a platform to shout out... not suited for everyone I guess btw..)
    Living with Bipolar Disorder is just the worst... not sure if anyone else is dealing with this shit but the worst are those crashing episodes that you cannot foresee yourself.
    Especially those Episodes where you just running internally mentally wild and the only thing you feel is just that anyone just want to betray and hurt you... even your closest ones.
    In addition, when I'm in a breakdown, the ‘spectrum’ in me swings so hard that I literally become completely blind to communicative schemes and can no longer understand or interpret anything like indirect speech in any way (probably always the main reason why I try to withdraw from anyone).
    In these phases, indirect language is as incomprehensible to me as a foreign language that I can't understand in any way. Unfortunately, very few people understand this because they are used to other ways of communicating with me.
    I'm really not sure what triggered the current episode: the constant stress at work, the stress of being available for everyone and everything every second for the last few months, or my own realization and disappointment that I think I've made so many bad decisions in the past because of my good faith, which have destroyed paths I would have liked to take(career and study-wise).
    However, I currently hate myself more than usual; not only for what I haven't achieved at the moment, but especially for the way I behave towards others uncontrollably during this phase.
    I am unconsciously insulting and offending those who actually want the best for me.
    I hide and deny the real causes until it is too late... (I'm such a coward)
    I wish I would be fixable but I'm not I guess...

    The worst thing is probably this post-episode in which you realize that not only the world itself is the problem, but that your own grievance towards others is also the problem in this world.
    (No wonder why the S-rate is so high in this disorder circle, since most people can't find any other solution).

    Maybe I just want someone to tell me directly and unhinged that they actual love me for what I am and that what I'm trying to achieve is enough
    (not sure if anyone reads this, but I think I just need a platform to shout out... not suited for everyone I guess btw..) Living with Bipolar Disorder is just the worst... not sure if anyone else is dealing with this shit but the worst are those crashing episodes that you cannot foresee yourself. Especially those Episodes where you just running internally mentally wild and the only thing you feel is just that anyone just want to betray and hurt you... even your closest ones. In addition, when I'm in a breakdown, the ‘spectrum’ in me swings so hard that I literally become completely blind to communicative schemes and can no longer understand or interpret anything like indirect speech in any way (probably always the main reason why I try to withdraw from anyone). In these phases, indirect language is as incomprehensible to me as a foreign language that I can't understand in any way. Unfortunately, very few people understand this because they are used to other ways of communicating with me. I'm really not sure what triggered the current episode: the constant stress at work, the stress of being available for everyone and everything every second for the last few months, or my own realization and disappointment that I think I've made so many bad decisions in the past because of my good faith, which have destroyed paths I would have liked to take(career and study-wise). However, I currently hate myself more than usual; not only for what I haven't achieved at the moment, but especially for the way I behave towards others uncontrollably during this phase. I am unconsciously insulting and offending those who actually want the best for me. I hide and deny the real causes until it is too late... (I'm such a coward) I wish I would be fixable but I'm not I guess... The worst thing is probably this post-episode in which you realize that not only the world itself is the problem, but that your own grievance towards others is also the problem in this world. (No wonder why the S-rate is so high in this disorder circle, since most people can't find any other solution). Maybe I just want someone to tell me directly and unhinged that they actual love me for what I am and that what I'm trying to achieve is enough
    2 Comments 0 Shares 476 Views
  • #videogames #decisionmaking #decisions #Videogame
    https://www.dualshockers.com/early-gaming-decisions-you-pay-for-the-rest-game/
    #videogames #decisionmaking #decisions #Videogame https://www.dualshockers.com/early-gaming-decisions-you-pay-for-the-rest-game/
    WWW.DUALSHOCKERS.COM
    10 Early Gaming Decisions You Pay For The Rest Of The Game
    Overwrite savers beware. You'll want to keep all your save files.
    2 Comments 0 Shares 294 Views
  • about to make life changing decisions prolly gonna become immortal
    about to make life changing decisions prolly gonna become immortal
    0 Comments 0 Shares 233 Views
  • Just make some time for you and go watch a movie on tv/netflix or play a video game after an election, they can be very stressful and no matter who won no one or 99 percent of people, will not be 100 percent happy with EVERY decisions that person or party makes, Because we are all individuals with differnt opinions every single one of us. Yes take some time for you even if the one you voted for won, Because you are still not going to like some of their decesions or you probably already know of things they will vote in that you dont want, You just didn't want the other one because they were worse in your opinion or worse for you. You take care of you after an election. Hope everyone on here regardless of their opinions is doing okay.
    Just make some time for you and go watch a movie on tv/netflix or play a video game after an election, they can be very stressful and no matter who won no one or 99 percent of people, will not be 100 percent happy with EVERY decisions that person or party makes, Because we are all individuals with differnt opinions every single one of us. Yes take some time for you even if the one you voted for won, Because you are still not going to like some of their decesions or you probably already know of things they will vote in that you dont want, You just didn't want the other one because they were worse in your opinion or worse for you. You take care of you after an election. Hope everyone on here regardless of their opinions is doing okay.🙂
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  • Is she right?

    "Decisions in America are based solely on the question of how much money will come out of it and not on the questions of how much health, morals or environment suffer as a result." Martina Navratilova
    Is she right? "Decisions in America are based solely on the question of how much money will come out of it and not on the questions of how much health, morals or environment suffer as a result." Martina Navratilova
    Like
    1
    3 Comments 0 Shares 1K Views
  • There was a time when I made reasonably good decisions regarding what's best for my life.
    There was a time when I made reasonably good decisions regarding what's best for my life.
    Love
    Like
    3
    2 Comments 0 Shares 746 Views
  • Finally friday and actually nice sunny weather for once!
    So what do I do....
    stay inside and make Tiktoks?
    or...
    Don't go out and edit Cosplay Pictures on my PC?
    Decisions decisions...
    Finally friday and actually nice sunny weather for once! So what do I do.... stay inside and make Tiktoks? or... Don't go out and edit Cosplay Pictures on my PC? 🤔 Decisions decisions...
    1 Comments 0 Shares 1K Views
  • Blasting some old school Kalmah while we wait for the poor decisions the management will come up with during a call. :D Voi helvetti!
    Blasting some old school Kalmah while we wait for the poor decisions the management will come up with during a call. :D Voi helvetti!
    0 Comments 0 Shares 1K Views
  • To go to sauna at 3 AM in the morning or not? Decisions, decisions...
    To go to sauna at 3 AM in the morning or not? Decisions, decisions... 🤔
    Haha
    1
    2 Comments 0 Shares 271 Views
  • Should I grow a beard again or not?

    Decisions, decisions...
    Should I grow a beard again or not? Decisions, decisions...🤔
    2 Comments 0 Shares 652 Views
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